Update and Merry Christmas!

Things are chugging along here nicely - I've just been doing my thing, getting up every morning and jumping on the treadmill... have not got on the scales for a few weeks, mostly because I cant be bothered at the moment - but I got on them this morning and was surprised to see it much lower than expected! Yay!

One drawback of my lovely treadmill has been the return of plantar fasciitis. I used to suffer from this before I was pregnant - I think it came about from wearing sky-high-heels every day to work, coupled with running, and having high arches. Anyway, it went away while I was pregnant and I haven't thought about it much since. I thought that pregnancy had cured it! But I started jogging regularly again, and within 24 hours of that first treadmill jog, I was waking up with heel pain and a burning sensation in my arch on my right foot.

I kept up the jogging for a few days, but when I started waking up in the middle of the night with foot and toe cramps, well I had to tone it back a bit. So its been powerwalking and incline walking + foot strapping for me since then. I'm going to see the podiatrist tomorrow so hopefully we can get it treated, get some custom orthotics and (fingers crossed) I'll be able to jog again!

Anyway, we are VERY much looking forward to our little munchkins first Christmas, and her first birthday next Thursday! I cant believe my little girl is almost ONE! Obvioulsy she hasn't a clue whats going on, and everyone else is looking forward to just watching her face on Christmas morning :) and watch her play with the wrapping paper instead of the presents lol. She has a cute little outfit to wear on Christmas day too of course!

Its hubbys' birthday today, so she can help daddy open his presents tonight and help him blow out the candle on his cake - good practice for next week!

December for our families brings many, many birthdays. We have a total of 8 birthdays in December, accross 2 families - as well as mum and dads anniversary, plus Christmas... busy time of year! Anyway...

Wishing you all a lovely Christmas - hope Santa visits you all and everyone enjoys some relaxing time with family and friends! Bye for now!

My new treadmill

Last Friday, Santa paid me an early visit! I got a treadmill!

The treadmill was in aid of cheering me up - well, in giving me the "tools" to cheer myself up. I've been feeling very... um... FLAT... lately. Quite down on myself - struggling to find ANY "me" time at all these days.

While working part-time from home is awesome, it does take some getting used to. I've been feeling a bit daggy because I can be working while wearing my slippers, or with wet hair and no make-up. Or hair not done (can you call pulling your hair into a rough, unbrushed ponytail "done"?). It takes some effort to make an effort!

I also have to make an effort to eat, because I often cant be bothered! I always thought it would be great to be home at lunchtime because you could eat "whatever you wanted". But the reality seems to be that you just dont bother, or pick at whatever your child doesn't eat. Or when I take Skye out when she wakes up, typically I get her food organised to take with us, but completely forget about myself! So by the time I get home I'm starving...

So for the last two weeks I've been super organised - cooking up big batches of things on weekends so that I've got meals ready for the week - just like I did when I was working full time.

I've also been using the new treadmill almost every day - slowly building up the fitness levels again! I've been getting up at 5am to fit my training in - although yesterday after doing some weights, I only got 5 mins done on the treadmill before Skye decided that 5.45am was the time to wake up... bugger!

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Anyway - other stuff - I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year! Last year we cancelled Christmas, since I was 9 months pregnant and just over everything LOL! So we are making up for it this year - BIG TIME! We're hosting lunch this year - both hubbys family and mine are coming. No doubt Skye will be getting spoiled rotten (even though we all said we wouldn't!). I went and collected Skye's Christmas layby on Wednesday - I did the layby back in July I think, so I had completely forgotten what I'd bought!

For the last few weeks I've been mentally planning the Christmas meal - I'm going to do a glazed ham this year (never done one before), plus a roast beef I think. Also having roast spuds, maple glazed roast sweet potato, individual stuffing balls, and green vege. Dessert might be a macadamia and white chocolate Ice Cream cake... haven't decided yet! (Both our families are English, so we like the traditional dinner, as opposed to the cold seafood buffet, or BBQ etc)

Ok - enough about food! Have a great weekend everyone!

Bored with my hair

I've been pretty sedate with my hair for the last few years. I used to do really cool, different things with my hair, which I've blogged about in the past. One month I'd have black hair, then the next I'd decide I wanted to be platinum blonde and spend hours at the hairdressers (going from black to blonde was not my smartest move - took FOREVER!).

Once upon a time I had a really cool hairdresser who I went to see every 6-8 weeks. She'd clip pictures out of magazines for when I came in, and say "I though we might do something like this?" and I'd just go with the flow - whatever she wanted to do, cut, colour, or extensions - she did! I loved it, and she liked that I just let her do whatever.

I've had blue stripes, blue hair extensions, lovely thick slashes of purple through my hair, swatches of bright red, a full head of black, or burgundy, or blonde or red hair... long, short, and even WAY-TOO-SHORT - so short it made me cry because it looked horrible LOL!

Hubby used to love the changes cos he reckoned he got a different girlfriend every couple of months. People at work used to ask me if I did it "because of a dare or something"...

But I've been toning it down for the last couple of years. Not deliberately. But its been happening nonetheless. I still had my purple stripe for the last few years, even had it at my wedding. But a few months ago I coloured over it. Now I'm dark brown all over. Hairstyle is now non-descript. Feeling rather blah actually, all I do is tie it up in a ponytail...

And now I'm taking it one step further - I'm actually planning on going back to my NATURAL colour (whatever the hell it is LOL!) - I'm going back to mousey-brown! Well maybe not mousey, but yes I'm getting my hairdresser friend to get me to a light/medium brown. The problem is I've got years of colour build up in my hair, so its going to take some time, over a number of visits to get it right. It started on Saturday with streaks... yes the dreaded streak cap came out.

Here is the result so far. Its a bit coppery because of the camera flash - its not quite that orange in real life:

But as you can see the ends are still dark. Its a work in progress - will post more pics as the transformation happens over the coming months!

Arachnophobia

One day last week when I jumped in the shower, I turned around and there was a decent size Huntsman spider sharing the shower with me. *Shudder* I HATE spiders!


Needless to say it was the shortest shower ever, I jumped out and grabbed the nearest can of insect spray and doused that sucker as much as I could. I had to leave it there too, I was too squeamish to collect the body! Poor hubby had to clean it up when he got home!


All day I kept expecting more spiders to leap out at me... before I sat down to work I checked under the desk, every time I walked into another room I scanned the ceilings etc. But the worst was when I went to bed. Hubby went to bed about an hour before me so he was well asleep by the time I crept in.


Now I have always hated spiders. I can handle the little ones no problems, but anything bigger than about a 50c piece is enough to send me running. I'm so arachnophobic that I cant even look at them on TV, or in a book. If its on TV, I have to turn away, and ask hubby to tell me when its gone. Have you noticed in the toy catalogues lately there seems to be some kind of toy tarantula for boys? Yep, I flick past that page real quick cos I cant even look at it.


So when I went to bed that night I was pretty creeped out. I kept imagining spiders on the doona that any moment were just about to run across my face - eeek! So when hubby (who I thought was sound asleep) suddenly LEAPT out of bed, ran across the room, turned on the light and turned around looking back at the bed, terrified, well I sprang out of bed too and joined him - heart pounding!


"Whats wrong, what is it??" I asked him.


He didn't answer, just kept looking at the bed, then at me, then around the side of the bed, then back at me, with this wild look in his eyes...


Then he said "Oh, must have been a dream" and switched the light off and went back to bed!


I quizzed him further. Apparently a huge, hairy spider X scorpion had just crawled over him, and had run on top of me. He said "I hope it was a dream, cos that sucker was a FOOT long!"


He was asleep within minutes. Needless to say, I was awake for hours after that.

(I think he's been watching too many episodes of Man vs Wild! He's had dreams like this before, but he's never actually leaped out of bed before LOL)

Nicknames

Did your parents have a nickname or pet name for you as a kid?

My mum had several for me - one was "min"... short for "mini" (as in a mini person, little one). Another one I was never particularly fond of was "Mu". Short for "Muriel" - my paternal grandmothers name!

She has never ever called me "Hil" - which is what most other people call me. She doesn't like people calling me "Hil" - saying that "If I'd wanted people to call you that, then thats what I'd have named you!" LOL!

Anyway - when we named Skye, of course we tried to think of how the name could be shortened or lengthened, or how it could be made fun of!

Hubby really wanted to also come up with a good pet name - so far the one he mainly sticks with is "Skyesie-Wysie". His niece has a good pet name - "Spud" - he has called her that since she was a baby (she's now 15) and its his special name for her. She got quite offended when he accidentally called Skye "Spud" once!

Lately we've been calling Skye "Speedy" because of the way she crawls at top speed sometimes! I also call her "Freddie" - this is because whenever I pick her up, or get ready to take her somewhere, I always say "Ready Freddie?" and its just stuck :)

Isn't this a strange obsession that we humans have with names? Even our pets have "pet" names! Elke has always been "Grub" to me - hubby calls her "Elke-Schmelkie". Connor the cat is "Connor-Bear" etc...

Anyway, just random ramblings for a Monday night!

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Other stuff - I've been pretty consistent with training and cleaner nutrition for a couple of weeks now, so I'm feeling pretty good - not seeing much changes yet but I know that it will happen. Still not drinking enough water though! Even though I work from home, I have a pretty good weekday routine happening - I get up at 5.30am now in order to train - a couple of days a week I have a sleep in until Skye wakes (usually around 6.30-7am) and take her and Elke for a powerwalk around 9am instead.

Weekends are still a challenge, since hubby is home my routine is all out of whack - but I'm getting there.

Skye took her first steps last Monday, which was very exciting, and she was absolutely stoked with herself LOL! I've got to start thinking about planning her first birthday too - need to start practising making cupcakes I think. We cant wait for Christmas this year too, although I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to put a tree up without her destroying it! This year is just going way too fast.

Anyway, I'd better get off the computer - early start tomorrow :)

Photos

Lots been happening, still busy as ever - still finding it a bit tough to fit everything in, working from home is FANTASTIC, but its a big juggle to get everything else done!



This weekend we had the first casualty from Cyclone Skye - the laptop power cable is now mysterioulsy broken and the laptop wont charge. We've had to send it away to the manufacturer to be fixed - we only got it in June!!



I have to say, I never realised that having a child would be so much fun! I'm just so so so in love with our little munchkin. She has me in stitches 10 times a day, she's so funny! I love the little 'words' she comes out with - the latest 'words' being repeated over and over is "pitch-oom, pitch-oom, pitch-oom" - endlessly... no idea what she thinks she's saying, but she says it with such determination, and she thinks that shes hilarious!



I'm trying to really appreciate the here and now - I'm perfectly aware that it wont be long before she's having tantrums, saying "NO"! constantly and being a right little monster. But for now, she pretty much does what I want her to and thinks I'm the greatest, she cant talk back yet, and hasn't really figured out that she can assert her own authority yet! (Except when I'm trying to change her nappy - there is no keeping her still, the second the nappy is off, she's away! Its extremely difficult to change her bum these days, I just wish she'd stay still long enough!)

Its so lovely to have someone idolise you so much, its so hard to imagine that one day she'll be rolling her eyes at me when she's a teenager!

She's been crawling and pulling herself up for a few months now, but in the last week she's started to let go of things and can stand without holding onto anything for a few seconds. I think the problem is that she's more interested in jumping up and down than actually walking at the moment!

A few picture updates. After seeing a few fellow bloggers, and Facebook friends using the iphone Hipstamatic app, I decided to get it myself and have a bit of a play... and I'm LOVING it!



Here's a few that I've taken recently:



The beanbag is the latest "toy" - she loves to stand beside it, and then throw herself onto it with a big squeal! Even better if mummy or daddy are ready in waiting beside her for a tickle attack!

Now that the weather is warmer, the fireplace is not in use so Skye's been exploring the area a little. The other day I came out of the kitchen to find her STANDING on top of the brickwork... oh no, the little monster has starting CLIMBING on things!

So I took a quick photo, and THEN told her off! LOL!


Helping mummy with the vacuuming - bet she wont be doing this as a teenager either! She LOVES the vacuum - she follows me around the house, not afraid of the noise at all. She seems quite fascinated by it.

My cheeky grin!

Elke... waiting patiently for me to pick up the ball at her feet... She never, EVER tires of this game...

My other beautiful girl...

Busy busy busy

Well things just seem to be getting busier around here!

I have been very slack with visiting and commenting on blogs lately (sorry!) - I still read blogs (mostly on my iphone - but its too hard to comment from there, I've tried a few times but my comment always disappears so I've given up!) but havent had much chance to read and comment properly lately.

One reason is that I'm now employed again! I approached my work about the possibility of working from home, and they have very kindly found me something that I can do... just 10-12 hours a week at this stage, which is great. But it means that when Skye is asleep, I need to be working. Its great because it gives me the freedom to be a "stay at home mum", but also bring in some income too. But its challenging too - because as we all know, often babies dont sleep when they are supposed to!

Of course I'm still working as a feedback coach for IBO too, which I also do when Skye is asleep, or when hubby gets home. Plus running around after my little crawling monster while she's awake and trying to keep her out of trouble, and doing all the other "mum" and "wifey" things, and still trying to get out of the house a few times a week so that I dont go stir-crazy!

So, blog has been a bit neglected! Admittedly, so has training this week as I've tried to get myself organised. My poor brain is struggling to have to think so much again, and I've got so much on my mind that I'm struggling to fall asleep at night.

So anyway, just a short update today - hope to get back on here a bit more often!

More on sleep

Well we are finally getting some good sleep in this house! For the last week we've been using a Baltic Amber Teething Necklace, and despite my skepticism, things definitely seem to be different... better. I did a bit of internet research before I bought one (initially I thought that it was for chewing on! No - its for wearing only, the amber releases oils into the skin, which supposedly has a healing, soothing effect). I was concerned that Skye might try to start chewing on it, or tugging on it, but she doesn't even notice that she's got it on - she just accepts it like its an item of clothing. Its short enough so that she cant see it, and it has a knot in between each small bead so that if it did break, only one bead is lost or has the chance of scattering. Its also got a plastic clasp which is designed to break under pressure, in case it gets caught on anything. I ended up getting ours on eBay!

So even though I bought it as a "teething necklace", it seems to be helping Skye stay asleep - a nice bonus! All of a sudden she seems to be able to self-settle - yes she's still waking, but she doesn't need me to help her back to sleep any more (touch wood!) The first few nights, she was still waking once or twice a night, having a little whinge, but after a minute or two she'd go back to sleep. The last few nights she's gone to bed around 7.30pm, and I dont hear a murmour until about 5am, when she has a little chat to herself for a while, then sleeps again until much later in the morning. On Saturday we had to go in to wake her at 8am - unheard of!!

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I have to admit, this kid cracks me up! Her latest thing is this HUGE fake smile LOL! She has figured out that if she smiles at people, they pay attention to her and say nice things to her. So if we're at the shops and I've got her sitting in the trolley, she carefully watches people as we go past (to the point of craning her neck to see them as they go by)... and the second that somebody looks at her, she instantly puts on this massive smile - all gums and teeth on display, eyes crinkled up etc (she smiles so hard its a wonder her face doesn't hurt) - the minute they look away, or if they dont notice her, the smile instantly drops off and she's looking for her next "victim" LOL!!

She does the same with the camera - if she notices the camera on her she stops what she's doing and smiles hehehe... hmmmm, wonder where she gets that from??!!

She's now crawling all over the house, getting more adventurous - exploring the house without me. She'll happily play on the kitchen floor with a few Tupperware containers and plastic spoons while I cook. Or stand up holding onto my legs. She falls over and hits her head almost daily too - to the point where I'm a bit concerned about taking her out in public because of the number of bruises on her forehead, I worry about what people might think!

Jogging again

Lately, I've been feeling like I want to jog. I'm not a natural runner, and I haven't run since before I was pregnant. But in the last few weeks, I felt the urge to get jogging for some reason.

We have a cross trainer at home, which I really dislike using. I think there is something wrong with it because even on the lowest level (1), its so hard to get moving! Level 1 feels like a level 10. Maybe the tension needs adjusting, but its electric, so I'm not sure how you do that.

Anyway - I've been pondering HOW I'm going to be able to go for a jog. I cant really take Skye with me, because its too hilly where I live to be pushing a stroller AND jog at the same time, and there aren't even any footpaths - so that option is out. I cant go early in the morning because she wakes around 5-5.30am, still dark outside before then. I cant really go when hubby gets home from work, because by then its pretty much time for me to start dinner.

So yesterday I did the only thing I could think of - while Skye had her morning nap, I went for a jog out in the backyard . Its 90 metres from our back fence to our front fence - with a slight upward slope. I managed to jog up and back 4 times before stopping to gasp for breath LOL! Heart rate was through the roof too - then I continued on, combining jogging with walking - managed about 20 minutes before I collapsed in a heap. I ended up jogging UP the slope and walking down it, because halfway through, I suddenly remembered that jogging downhill always gives me shin splints.

Today I'm limping, as I expected. My calves are CAINED, and my shins aren't too happy either - but it felt so GOOOOOD! I loved seeing my beetroot red face in the mirror afterwards - been a long time since I worked so hard - even felt a bit nauseous for a while afterwards. Elke (the dog) had so much fun chasing me back and forth too :)

Cant wait to do it again now!

One year ago today...

One year ago today we said goodbye to our beautiful, fluffy boy Shavez.


So much has happened in a year. We still think of him all the time, and talk about him quite often. He was one of a kind, such a huge character - there will never be another one like him. I just wish that Skye had been able to meet her big "brother".


Is it normal to still be so sad over losing a pet, a year later? I look at photos of him and still crumple into tears.

On the 4th of September, 2009

Our best mate passed away.

The tears I shed

weigh down like lead

on my heart -

Unto this day.

RIP big fella... miss you...

More sleep please...

Feeling good and on track at the moment after a bit of a tough fortnight! I have to admit that I dropped the ball a little with regards to my own health and fitness. No excuses, I know! But the reason is because of sleep deprivation.

Now I always thought that once a baby learned to sleep through the night, they KEPT doing it. Boy has that belief been well and truly shattered! We have always swaddled Skye for sleeps, and she sleeps great while wrapped (except for that horror 6 weeks when she was 4 months old). I was happy to keep wrapping her except for the fact that she started rolling over in her sleep, and waking up on her tummy with her arms pinned to her sides - well naturally she didn't like it and screamed and grizzled until she was 'rescued'.

So we started on the journey of re-training her to sleep unwrapped... and its been a bit challenging! We did it gradually, but she started waking 3-4 times a night again, and needing help to get back to sleep... I'd forgotten how draining it can be to get by on such small amounts of sleep!

Anyway, last night she slept from 7pm til 4.45am - so not too bad - fingers crossed she's getting the hang of it now :)

But I would like to know how you get a baby to sleep til 7am?? Skye thinks that by 5-5.30am its time to get up and start the day, and actually I'd even take 6am at this stage, that would be a sleep in! We have tried letting her cry it out (many times)- anywhere from 3-4am - but generally she will just grizzle and whinge for 1-2 hours non-stop, until one of us gets the shits and gets up! She's just got this internal clock that says 5-5.30am is when the day starts...

But anyway - back on track this week, no more excuses.

I'm also trying to find a protein powder that I can use while breastfeeding - I need one with no artificial sweeteners (including Sucralose) because I'm allergic to them - I used to use All Natural Whey, which is sweetened with Stevia, but it also has 1000mg of L-Glutamine per serve, which has not been tested as safe to use when breastfeeding... if anyone has any ideas I'd be really grateful!

My little one is 35 weeks old now - 8 months! Where is the year going???

Feelings, and Frights

I really cant get over how strongly maternal I feel now. I used to never be interested in kids. I was the one who, when colleagues brought their babies in to work for everyone to see, I would hide in my office and avoid them like the plague. If someone handed me a baby, it would start screaming. I never even noticed kids except when they were being annoying!

These days I notice babies everywhere. When I was pregnant, I was amazed at how many strangers would smile at me and ask about my pregnancy. Now I’m the one smiling at pregnant ladies at the shops, and talking to complete strangers about babies. I actually GAWK at newborn babies, with a sort-of wistful smile on my face, and tell whoever I’m with to look too… as in “LOOK at that baby!” (hubby finds it particularly strange I think, seeing as how all my adult life I swore I was never having kids)

Last week we had a bit of a fright. I’d put Skye down on the carpet in our walk in robe, and she was busy looking at her reflection in the mirror on the sliding door. I was sitting right beside her, but when I wasn't looking she must have picked something up off the carpet, because I could see her sort of chewing on something, but when I looked in her mouth I couldn’t see anything. If I had have seen it before it went in her gob, I would have assumed it was a blade of grass – wrong…

A minute later she started choking – I grabbed her and shoved my finger down her throat as quick as I could and felt around – felt something, first impression was “oh my god it’s a staple!”… but I grabbed it (pushing it against the side of her windpipe to get it out) and dragged it out with one finger. A small streak of blood came out too. It was some kind of metal shaving – THEN I freaked! Kept shoving my finger back down her throat to see if there was any more in there. She kept screaming – in fright I think. This shaving must have got walked in on one of our shoes, and buggered if I know where she found it, as the floor had been vacuumed the day before.

Afterwards I hugged her and hugged and didn’t let her go for ages. I think I was still shaking 2 hours later. She is just SO precious, and I'm so worried about something happening to her. I spoke to my mum about it, and she says that its just that natural maternal instinct to want to protect your child coming through.

I kept looking at this metal shaving, which really did look like a blade of black grass, except it was thin black metal. I kept thinking "What if" - what if some of it had broken off and gone down into her stomach. I had visions of it tearing right through her intestines, her waking up screaming with blood coming out the other end etc. I was SO upset and so worried… I didn't sleep properly for a few days from worrying about it - but she seems ok. She was fine within about 10 minutes. Hubby says I gotta stop thinking about what could have happened, and instead focus on the fact that I WAS there, and that she's fine.

Since then I see danger just about EVERYWHERE! But I'm really trying not to let fear take over. She has started crawling, and within a few days of crawling, she started pulling herself up on any available piece of furniture too - so now she's standing and cruising along while holding on to things. I cant let her out of my sight for a minute or else she's up to mischief and into everything!

I've never been an overly neat and tidy person, I'm not a clean-freak - but having a little one crawling around is really making me much tidier - vacuuming once a week doesn't cut it anymore!

Pets

On Friday it was Elke’s 7th birthday (our Border Collie cross Keeshond) – so I made sure I gave her lots of cuddles, and she had a great big bone for breakfast too :)

When Skye came along I was determined not to neglect our pets, since they really do mean the world to me.

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Sure, I certainly have a lot less time to devote to Elke and Connor the cat, but I still consider them to be my kids too – its just they are a little lower in the pecking order these days. My cat still sits on my lap at night after Skye has gone to bed, and Elke is probably getting more attention now than she ever did before, with walks, frisbee throwing, and the fact that she is indoors with me 24/7 these days.

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Elke is a little 'miffed' that there's another little princess in the house now, but she's pretty good with her. Mind you - I would NEVER leave them alone together. Elke is starting to wake up to the fact that a baby drops food everywhere, so she hangs around a bit more now and when Skye's moved away Elke swoops in and hoovers up the crumbs :) But when Skye decides she wants to give Elke a pat, Elke takes the bolt!

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Connor was totally aloof when Skye first arrived. He merely came up and gave her a sniff, and walked away and ignored her like a good Siamese cat should. However in the last couple of months he's started to get more interested in her, and even venturing in for a pat now and then. I'm trying to teach Skye the meaning of the word "GENTLE" when she pats him, but without luck so far! She grabs chunks of fur and gives it a good tug - and he happily lies there purring away!

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I think Connor is pretty safe with her though, he is 13 years old now, and his teeth are so blunt that he cant break the skin if he bites, and he has long since stopped sharpening his claws (I have to cut them for him, lazy bugger!)

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We had a bonfire night here on Saturday night, along with a BBQ and LOTS of marshmallows roasted on the fire - yum! I ate a fair few, far more than I should have - sugar overload! I didn't get to bed until after midnight, and that is a VERY late night for us! I had two glasses of bubbles over the entire night, but I just didn't really feel like drinking much. We are both starting to laugh at ourselves because we just dont really want to drink like we used to. One glass of wine is usually enough for me, any more than that and I feel so dehydrated the next day. Plus I'm still breastfeeding Skye, so its not like I can get rolling drunk anyway - even if I wanted to!


Felt a bit bloated yesterday after eating all that party food. Last week was ok training wise, got 3 weights in but not enough cardio. So today I went hard on the cross trainer, and then this afternoon I took Skye and Elke for a powerwalk. Busy week this week so I've got to stay focused!

Back in the swing...

One week down and I'm feeling SO much better about myself now that I'm back in the swing of things. Last week I completed 3 weights sessions and 4 cardios, and feeling good. Have seen a small drop in the scales so far, which I'm quite happy about.

I got hubby to take some "before" photos on the weekend - eeeek! Not real excited about those at the moment :) Have to say that it was a bit tough to squeeze myself into my bikini top - I've grown a bit in that department, and was very much spilling out of it, both front and sides! The joys of breastfeeding!


Sunday was back and triceps. I was a bit concerned at how I was going to target my lats seeing as how I dont have a lat pulldown at home. So I did bent over rows, DB pullovers and self-assisted wide grip chins... and the pullovers and self assisted chins have got my lats nice and sore. Hubby went rummaging through the shed and found his springs that he uses for lats... think handles, attached to springs, which you can hook onto something up high - like a beam. So I'll be giving these a go next time!

Today was leg day again, followed by a powerwalk with Skye in the Baby Bjorn and Elke dragging me along - so I'll be aching again tomorrow no doubt. I also had a visit to the chiro this moring - I'm needing my regular chiro adjustments more than ever lately, carrying around a baby on one hip all the time really seems to throw your back and hips out.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of catching up with Alicia and her beautiful little girl Ava. It was nice to get out and talk mum stuff, and get the girls to meet each other too :)

Anyway, nothing really exciting to post about today - can you believe that I started typing this post Monday morning, it has taken me 3 goes to finish it and its as boring as hell! Ha!

Legs

Ouch, ouch, ouch - thats all I can say...

Yesterday morning I did my first proper leg session in a LONG while, and I think I might have gone a little too hard. I knew I was in trouble during the first set of walking lunges when my quads starting to scream at me LOL :)

Elke, our border collie cross, saw me put my gym shoes on. Now since I've been at home, me putting my gym shoes on means only one thing: shes going for a walk. But NOT anymore! She started racing around the house expecting me to grab her lead and head out the door... poor puppy! She was not impressed by me exercising on the patio - in fact, during my walking lunges (which were done around and around our outdoor table) she followed me the entire time, swatting at my ankles as if to say "What are you DOING mum? Stop mucking around and lets GO!!"

She soon gave up, and she left me to continue in peace :)

Changes

Its amazing how things change when a little baby comes into your life.

For one thing, I never realised how precious “spare” time could be, until I had another little human being to look after, who depends on me for EVERYTHING, and how easy it is to waste time when she’s asleep, when I should be doing important things!

One really big change in my life since having Skye is my body shape. I’ve always been prone to being a “pear” shape, always storing the majority of my bodyfat on my hips and thighs. I’m still storing it there, but I’m noticing a lot more rolls around the middle – the dreaded muffin top!

At first I made excuses for myself. Hubby keeps saying to me “But you’ve just had a baby!!”… and I’m like “ummm… that was over 6 months ago!” (Bless him for loving me just the way I am, I’m very lucky to have him…)

Anyway, I've been looking at myself critically in the mirror lately, and realised that its time to get a bit more serious about my health again. The realization has been slowly creeping up on me for weeks… and now that Skye has settled down from the reflux and colic, I feel that I finally have the energy (without resorting to sugar!) to get back on track.

I’m ready to feel fit and healthy again. I’m taking it one day at a time, and being reasonable with my expectations. I'm 3kgs over my pre-pregnancy weight, however I've lost a lot of muscle so I'm not really using kilos as a goal. I need to build a bit of muscle and lose some bodyfat, so I'll be monitoring skinfolds and measurements as my main guide.

Back when I was heavily pregnant, I only suspended my gym membership until July, because I didn’t really know what the future was going to be like, so I wanted to give myself the option of going back.

I went to the gym last week and cancelled my membership. I really loved my gym – I was a constant gym-goer, almost every weekday for the last 5 years, I would be there at 5.30am ready and raring to go – it was a huge part of my life. I much prefer to train in public, because I usually push myself harder when there are other people around!

So yes I was a bit sad to cancel it, but the facts are this: we have a complete weights station at home, dumbbells, barbells, squat rack, leg extension etc, plus a cross trainer, and the benefit of living in a quiet, hilly area, perfect for outside cardio with baby + dog. We’re on one income now too, so it just makes more sense for us. I'll just have to make sure I push myself hard now that I'm training in private.

I've taken my starting measurements and drawn up a plan, –I need to be flexible, and reasonable – babies seem to have a way of throwing a spanner in the works! – but I’m feeling the fire in the belly again. I wasted no time on the weekend and did a "proper" weights session - supersets and everything, and boy am I feeling it now!

I also bought a new training diary from Ada Street Supplements in Brissie a few weeks ago (and a big plug for them – I ordered it online around lunchtime, and they delivered it to me by courier at around 5pm – THE SAME DAY!! Now that’s what I call service! They've always been good like that) - so I'm raring to go!

Teething!

Poor Skye is teething at the moment. Ok, I should actually say she's been teething for bloody months - I wish this first tooth would hurry up!

Doctors and child health nurses have been telling me for ages that she's teething - swollen gums, red cheeks, tugging at her ears, excessive drooling and fingers in the mouth etc...

In the last week she's gotten worse and has been quite grizzly with it. I read Alicia's blog the other week and got some teething tablets to try, fingers crossed!

So because she's not sleeping for long stretches at the moment, I cant train when she's asleep because I usually only have time to eat, or shower or whatever before she wakes and demands attention. So yesterdays training session involved putting Skye in the walker out on the patio, and letting her watch me train. I kept her amused by asking her to help me count out the reps... so picture me in my trakkie daks and ugg boots, lifting weights and counting out my reps in that annoying high-pitched voice that we seem to use when talking to babies! And then singing songs in between to keep her smiling :)

I can only hope that the neighbours didn't see or hear me!!

Needless to say it only kept her entertained for a short amount of time and then she started to whinge, so I didn't get a full session in :(

I LOVE this cooler weather we're having overnight at the moment. We have a fireplace at our house, and its so lovely to get it cranking and watch the flames - just need to add a good book and a glass of wine and it would be a perfect way to spend the day - oh well I can dream!

Neglected

Eeek - my poor old blog has been a bit neglected lately!

Partly because of not really having huge amounts of spare time these days, and partly because of not really having anything interesting to say :-)

Things have really settled down here in the last month - finally we have a happy baby! After months of stress and unsettled-ness, and me surviving on 2 hours of sleep every day for months, the doc diagnosed Skye with silent reflux and put her on some medication called Probitor. Within a day she was a different baby and we thought "Awesome!" She started sleeping longer, and was happy, and a pleasure to be around.

But then two days later the side effects kicked in - she was screaming in pain, doing these crampy sort of stomach movements, constipated, grizzly, waking up multiple times in the night with blood-curdling screams... and over a week it just got worse. So I took her back to the doc who recommended some MORE medication to treat the side effects of the first medication... WTF???

Tried that for 2 days, and she was no better, so gut-instinct was to stop all medication, which I did. Poor little poppet was so distressed, and worse than before the meds.

Then I was at my chiropractor for my own monthly adjustment, and told him my woes... he had a look at her then and there (her hips, neck and back were out) did a few little adjustments on her, and the difference since then has been amazing!

Chiropractic for babies is actually extremely safe - they dont do big "bone cracks" like they do on adults, they use a little clicker thing that really just massages the joints, its like gentle manoeuvring, rather than manipulation.

Anyway, it had such an amazing affect - she is just so happy now, and is sleeping nearly 12 hours a night again - woohoo! Hubby is not a believer in chiropractic though, he thinks maybe she was going to get better anyway. And I also think that moving on to 3 solid meals a day has helped a lot too - whatever it was, I dont care, she's happy and content, and that is the main thing.

I didn't realise just how hard it is to have a reflux and colicky baby, and now that she seems to be past that, its like I can finally enjoy being a mum. She no longer wakes after 30 minutes, she's not screaming during feeds anymore, she's not grizzly now unless she's tired... she's a joy!

She has started babbling this week... here's a little bit of one of her 'conversations'...

**************************************************************************

Other news... we're changing cars... again... Today I said goodbye to my beautiful Ford G6ET, and I'll be getting my replacment car on the weekend - a V8... ahh I cant wait, I loved my old V8! Hubby has also now got a V8 ute, so we're an all Ford, all V8 family now LOL! We change cars like we change our underwear around here hehehe!

I've returned to feedback coaching for IBO again for the last 8 weeks too, and its nice to be able to do a bit of work from home.

So this week, without a car for a few days I'm house-bound (well, I can walk to the local shops)... so I've got a "to-do" list as long as your arm - better get cracking! I'm hoping to teach myself how to use MYOB this week... dont like my chances!

TTFN!

Happy Anniversary!

On Sunday it will be our one year since we said "I do"! Time flies huh? I love looking back on our photos and video of such a special day.

I cant believe how fast that year has gone though. Life has certainly changed so much in the last 6 months, and I think I am the luckiest girl in the world :)

Not sure what we are doing yet for our anniversary - we were talking of going away for a night or two, but we're not sure what to do with Miss Elke (the dog)... so we may end up just having a nice dinner somewhere and getting grandma to babysit Skye for a few hours.

Either way, cant wait!

"They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight..."

"... shunting trucks and hauling freight..."

GAH! I just cannot get the Thomas The Tank Engine theme tune out of my friggin head!!

Its been on permanent repeat in my brain for days now. Skye just loves watching it, she thinks its hilarious. I think she likes the big faces, she watches it and chuckles and giggles the whole time :) And she loves it when mummy sings along to the theme songs, so I'm getting to know them all pretty well by now hehehe

I also get random words stuck in my head too. Does anyone else get this? I know lots of people get songs stuck in their heads, but do you also get random words? It seems to come from things I see or hear in the news. Last week the word was "Nhulunbuy" - a town in NT... it was on the weather map on the Today show one morning. Lately its been "Roland Garros" - that tennis tournament in France.

So whenever theres a lull in my thoughts, the "word of the week" just pops in there, just to say hi. Hmmm, maybe I'm losing it?

It goes like this "Ok, better remember to get that washing out of the dryer. Roland Garros. Oh wait, whats the time? Roland Garros" LOL!

I've just googled it. Interestingly there is a term for this, seems like I've got an earworm! Tiredness is probably the culprit :)

##########################################

I'm going to be sore tomorrow... I trained shoulders, bi's and tri's this morning. I went a bit heavier than I probably should have, and my arms had the shakes for a while afterwards! I'm training at home while Skye is sleeping. We've got a weights station on our back patio, with an adjustable bench, preacher curl pad, dip station and squat rack. Its quite handy, although I'm not a fan of adjustable dumbells, it seems to take forever to change the plates. I use the house windows as "mirrors". Oh, and I've taken to wearing my ugg boots to train in. Just cos I can :)

I've also discovered that hefting a 7kg bub up and down in the air is an awesome chest workout too :) She loves it, and I get tired of it a hell of a lot quicker than she does. I might carry her around for walking lunges next. And all my powerwalks are so much harder with her strapped to my chest in the Baby Bjorn (and being pulled along by the dog).

Oh, and I got FIVE straight hours sleep last night - feel like a new woman!

Time flies when you're having fun

... and even when you're not! I cant believe that I finished work 6 months ago!

Wow - long time no update! Spare time is so precious at the moment, that I havent had much time to blog. At any rate, I'm sure you're all sick of reading baby stuff, and thats pretty much all I have to write about at the moment!!

So. We've had a very rough couple of weeks here. Skye has been going through a bit of sleep regression over the last few weeks. She HAD lulled us into a false sense of security by starting to sleep longer and longer... some nights 8, 9, 10 hours straight. "Awesome!" we thought, and proudly started telling people that she was sleeping through. Then she hit 4 months and it all fell apart. Waking up 3, 4 or 5 times each night. Grizzling. Unsettled. In these last two weeks, she's been worse than when she was a newborn!

So all that makes for one very tired and cranky mummy. I haven't slept more than 2 hours straight for weeks.

Silly us, thought that once babies "learned" how to sleep through the night, that they just kept doing it. Apparently not - supposedly they unlearn, and then have to relearn... over and over for the first few years of life. Joy. And its all normal apparently.

Aside from that we are having so much fun! Its amazing to watch the little personality develop, and seeing her learn new skills. She's now grasping things with her fingers, and trying to put every single thing in her mouth! She's such a chatterbox too, and I love dressing her up in cute little outfits. I'm SO, SO in love with her - imagine that - ME! The most "un-maternal" woman ever! Its such an amazing feeling.

I've decided that I need to get my act together fitness wise. A few things have slipped, like drinking water. I'm lucky to drink 1 litre a day these days, and that needs to change. So I'm taking small steps to increase how much I'm having. I also need to get back to my healthy eating habits. These last few weeks I've been relying on sugar to get me through the exhaustion... bad Hil!

One thing thats helped this week is by doing my grocery shopping online. Its only $5 delivery, and it really helps me to avoid those impulse purchases that dont help the waistline! I've had one delivery so far and it was fantastic - the man even carried all the groceries into the kitchen for me (and the one part of grocery shopping that I despise is bringing all those heavy bags in from the car). The best part is that it frees up our Sundays, so we can start doing things as a family, instead of wasting half a day leaving Skye home with daddy while I do battle with the crowds.

My first mothers day as a mum was great! (apart from the lack of sleep) Hubby spoiled me with a voucher for an Ultimate Pamper Package - full body massage, head and scalp massage and deluxe foot treatment... ooooh I cant wait for that! I've booked in for next Thursday. And he bought me thai for dinner :) We spent the day with both our mums too, and I can tell you that I have so much more appreciation for my own mother now!

Well thats probably enough ramblings from me... enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Things I never knew about parenting...

• That eating dinner at the same time as my husband would be a rarity, and that most meals are eaten in a rush before the baby wakes up
  
• That most of my food choices revolve around what is quick and convenient
  
• That coming up with new and exciting ways to entertain a baby can be exhausting – they have such short attention spans!
  
• That the amount of vomit my baby can produce is mind boggling at times
  
• That wind can stay trapped in bubs tummy for hours – just when you think you’ve got it all, there’s more!
  
• That I would forget to eat!
  
• That 3 minute showers become the norm, and toilet visits become very hurried pit stops!
  
• That my hair would stay in a permanent pony tail, and only get washed twice a week these days (used to be every second day). Similarly, hair colouring has become a thing of the past, and I’m in desperate need of a trim but cant be bothered!
  
• That all my clothing choices revolve around what is comfortable to breast-feed in.
  
• That I would go through so many bibs in a day! After my baby shower I thought I had SO many bibs and would never use them all… well we go through about 3 or 4 per day, and that’s mostly from the drooling! We can go through heaps more if she’s having a particularly ‘spewy’ day.
  
• That babies are such amazing little ‘time sponges’ – I don’t know where the days go anymore.

This is her newest "thing" - she's discovered that she has two hands, and now loves nothing better than holding hands with herself. We laugh at her because it often looks like she's rubbing her hands together plotting some kind of mischief. Look at her chubby little legs! So far she hasn't realised that she has feet yet :)

I have started selling stuff on ebay - just general household stuff that we dont use. I've become a bit addicted. Now that a few things have sold, I find myself trawling around the house from room to room, opening cupboards and drawers looking for stuff to sell LOL!

My exercise mainly consists of walking at the moment, although I'm now having to strap the sole of my right foot again because the bloody plantar fasciitis is playing up again. Funnily enough it went away when I was pregnant, but its back with avengence now, even though I havent worn high heels, or done any impact exercise in months.

We're talking about getting another dog again. We put it off after we lost Shavez, and then Skye came along and we had our hands full anyway. We both still miss Shavez like crazy - I cant believe its been 7 months since he left us... I sometimes have dreams about him where he comes to this house and gives me a cuddle and I can still smell his scent. In the dreams I know he's gone, but its like he's telling me he's watching over us. Thinking about him and talking about him still makes us cry.

Anyway, so we're thinking about it again, and we also think that Elke could do with a companion - I often catch her looking longingly at the neighbours dogs. We're just trying to decide on a breed.

Anyway, sounds like the little monkey has woken up - better go!

Fun and Games

Long time no blog again... I feel like life is just flashing past me at the moment! I cant believe that our little girl is 12 weeks old already! I dont really have anything exciting to blog about, hence the lack of posting.

We've had a tough few weeks - Skye has had really bad wind and its been making mummy's life a bit of a nightmare lately. But I've now stopped eating a few things that might have been part of the cause and hopefully that has helped. Last night she slept for almost 9.5 hours straight - OMG! I had to go check on her a few times and make sure she was ok. Then I had to express because I felt like my boobs were going to explode LOL!

We've been going for walks most afternoons... I strap her into the Baby Bjorn and grab the dog and go for a 20 minute walk each day... she weighs less than 6kgs but holy crap she feels heavy when we're power walking the hills! I keep reminding myself that when I was 9 months pregnant I weighed a hell of a lot more than that!

I've not managed to do a lot of weight training, mostly because the last few weeks have been so rough and when she finally does sleep I generally collapse in a heap. But I'm getting there and plan to do at least 2 weights sessions this week. Fingers crossed.


There have been a LOT of poo explosions going on! She's not doing as many per day now, but when she does go - WOAH... watch out! Some of them are hilarious (who'da thought that I'd spend so much time talking about poo?!!) especially when she's managed to poo so hard that it comes out the front, back AND sides of the nappy! Because we've got a sick sense of humour, we've taken a few photos of these poo explosions in order to embarrass her at her 21st birthday party hehehe...

This was one that she thought she'd share with mummy... all over my leg and even managed to get it up underneath my shorts too... what a talented girl!

Over and out!

Awww...

Here's my girl, telling me how funny she thinks the swing is...

Its finally happened…

I have finally succumbed to the ultimate in mummy-fashion…

I am now the proud owner of a dressing gown!

Well – I’ve never EVER, in all my adult life, worn a dressing gown or robe. I’ve never wanted one, never needed one. Both hubby and I are not the kind of people who get out of bed and lounge around in their PJ’s, boxer shorts or whatever – no – I get out of bed and get straight into the shower (if I wasn’t going to gym that is).

But suddenly everything has changed. I now have to get up in the middle of the night to feed Skye, and some mornings its actually been quite cool. Then when its morning of course the first thing I have to do again is to feed Skye, so I often don’t get a chance to have a shower until much later – sometimes not til 11am! I’ve been wearing jumpers, but its just not cutting it.

I confessed to hubby the other day that I thought I was going to need to get one soon… and so he secretly did a bit of online shopping and ordered me a lovely pink Billabong robe, complete with pink polka-dot trim and a hoodie as a surprise… aint he lovely?!!

I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful supportive husband. Skye just adores him – often I’ll sit her on my lap facing him and she just gazes at him and smiles and giggles, he doesn’t even have to be looking at her – she just thinks he’s hilarious!

Isn’t it funny how daddys always get to be the “fun” ones, and mums do the comfort thing, along with all the other mundane, every day stuff! He can always come up with exciting stuff to keep her interested, like flying her around the room as if she’s a plane, or bouncing her up in the air… she squeals and giggles and just loves it.

I'm constantly amazed at the fact that no matter how hard I try, I always get spewed on. I put the spew rag (terry toweling nappy) over my shoulder, and without fail she will find the one spot that isn’t covered and puke… often its down my cleavage, or the back of my arm. By the end of the day I absolutely reek!

I also never realised just how much clothes washing one little body could generate… I mean, before Skye came along I used to wash one day a week, generally 3-4 loads – too easy.

But now – holy crap, I’m going through loads of washing like there’s no tomorrow! Because of the spew and dribble, she’s going through at least 2 changes of clothes a day, plus bibs and muslin wraps. Then there’s my own change of clothes, due to the aforementioned spew. Then you’ve gotta factor in the nappy leakage – be it poo or wee, sometimes those suckers just cannot be contained by a little nappy!

When I was pregnant I bought one packet of 12 terry toweling nappies to use as spew rags, thinking it would be MORE than enough… HA! I quickly learned that I can easily go through 3 or 4 a day, especially when she’s having a particularly spewy day, or has one of her gargantuan poos that seep everywhere! So I had to get another packet to make sure I had enough.

Anyway, things are becoming more fun around here. We've had a good week and things seem to be settling down, lets hope it continues!

Learnings…

Long time no blog! I thought I'd take this chance now, as everyone else in the house is asleep - hubby has crashed on the lounge, Skye is FINALLY down and the dog and cat are always asleep anyway...

Well - what a steep learning curve I’m on. Just when I start to feel confident with my parenting, and just when I think I’ve got her figured out, she throws a spanner in the works and everything changes!

I’m quickly learning that what worked today will probably not work tomorrow, especially where her sleep is concerned. I’ve got a large number of techniques up my sleeve now to try to get her down. And mostly, I can get her to sleep these days (except around 4-5pm, that’s just impossible as she wont stop carrying on, and it goes on for a few hours) – no – the main problem at the moment is getting her to STAY asleep. For the last week or so she has started waking after 20-30 minutes, and then refusing to go back down to sleep. I've heard that its a pretty common problem as they transition through to the next deeper stage of sleep around then.

The last few days I’ve resorted to going back into her room to see whats going on after 20 minutes. Its her legs, after 20 minutets or so they start to kick like crazy and she wakes herself up (told you she was hyperactive!). So I hold her legs still so she doesn't wake, she'll do this 5 or 6 times over a 10-15 minute period. Some times I’m not quick enough, and other times it works. I feel like I spend my entire life bent over the cot!

If I'm not quick quick enough and she wakes up, sometimes she'll scream blue murder for 2 hours. Yesterday I was tearing my hair out - nothing would settle her except a feed. Straight after the feed she screamed again. She screamed when I took her into her room, and also when I took her out again, she screamed when I tried to lay her down to wrap her, she screamed when I picked her up… you get the picture. Today she seems fine, but still resisting sleeping through the day...

I’ve got a head cold and sore throat which doesn’t make me feel very happy at the moment, and some days it feels like everyone else wants a piece of me first. If its not Skye, then its the dog or cat wanting food or attention, or meals needing to be prepared. Its just so tiring, and frustrating sometimes! I also hope I haven’t passed on my cold to her, I have no idea how I'd tell if she had a sore throat?

Anyway, apparently it gets better eventually!

Although for the last two weeks she has been giving us the most gorgeous smiles, giggles, coo's and ga-gahs too, which just melts your heart and gives me such a warm-fuzzy feeling. It kinda makes up for all the frustrating times! I cant believe she is over 6 weeks old already...

Yesterday hubby moved our gym equipment from the carport into our patio area, so I'm thinking I'm going to have a few weights sessions this week and see how I go. Its been so long but I really miss feeling strong and throwing weights around. I want some muscles back and to lose the little belly pooch that I'm now sporting...

Probably about time my blog started focusing on fitness again I guess!

Have a great week, I'll be glued to the TV watching the Winter Olympics... I LOVE Winter Olympics, its so much more interesting than the summer ones, of course I'm a bit biased because of my ice-skating past ;-)

Studio photos...

Time is just flying isnt it? I cant believe that its February, and that little miss Skye is almost 5 weeks old already!

Well we've had a fun couple of weeks getting into the swing of being parents, and all the challenges that brings. Some days are great, and other days not so great, but thats all part of the experience I guess!

Our major issue has been getting her to sleep during the day - it seemed that no matter what I tried, or how many different settling techniques I used, the little bugger just REFUSED to go down. Last week it wasn't uncommon for her to be awake for 8 hours straight, and cranky as hell, not surprisingly. She would sleep on my lap, but then as soon as she went into that bassinette she was wide awake and screaming - ahhh the joys!

But the good thing is that she seems to be a good sleeper at night, often going 4 or 5 hours at a stretch, so I cant really complain. Yesterday and today I've been successful to get her to sleep during the day, so fingers crossed we're onto something!

It was my birthday last Thursday and I was invited out to lunch, and took Skye. I was pretty nervous to take her out to a cafe, I had visions of her screaming the entire time. But she was a perfect angel and slept the whole time, so I worried for nothing! It was our first BIG outing together, and it was great because it gave me a lot more confidence that I can manage.

I'm starting to think about getting back into some kind of fitness routine, but nothing intense just yet. The other day I ran to answer the phone and I could feel that there is still some tenderness in my tummy/pelvic area. I've been doing a bit of walking, but nothing of much consequence. I havent really done any weight training since about October (unless you count lifting a 4kg baby around all day!), so that will be something that I'll need to ease back into!

Anyway, on Saturday we went and had some studio photos done by Rezolution Photography - who also did our fantastic wedding photos... I went and picked up the CD today (how's that for super fast service?!!) and I am SO impressed with them, they are exactly what I hoped for. Here's a small selection of them:

We learn as we go...

Random observations from the first 3 weeks of motherhood…

• Nitrous Oxide gas during labour – gives you a really swollen and sore soft palate and throat for days afterwards. Swallowing really hurts!
  
• It’s a cruel joke of mother nature that your baby “wakes up” and becomes hungry and alert about 2 days after the birth, and my milk didn’t come in until about day 4.
  
• Public Hospital food was surprisingly good! Porridge for breakfast was awesome!
  
• Breastfeeding really HURTS for about 2 weeks after the birth. It felt like razor blades being sucked through my nipples for the first 20 seconds every time, even when she was supposedly attached properly. Using the breast pump hurts the same. Its only been in the last week that its stopped being painful, and its such a relief!


• The middle of the night, sitting alone in the quiet, dark house - feeding, burping, changing and settling a windy/colicky/grizzly baby is one of the loneliest feelings ever .
  
• Every single midwife in hospital has a completely different opinion on how you should do things. They often contradict each other. Eg – one midwife talked to us about Skye’s long fingernails and told us we could nibble the ends off with our teeth. An hour later, the next midwife told us that on NO ACCOUNT should we use our teeth!
  
• Baby swings are awesome, at least I can put Skye down and get a few things done, she loves to look around.
  
• Some days feel absolutely overwhelming and frustrating. I think Skye has reached her 3 week growth spurt yesterday – she fed almost every hour, with very little sleep in between and lots of wind in between too. It made for a very grizzly baby and an emotional wreck of a mummy. Today though has been great!
  
• Having not had any nappy/baby experience before, I cant believe how often babies poo! Skye must think we have shares in Huggies Nappies I think, with the rate that we are going through them. The other day we changed it 3 times in half an hour – the first was wet, so we changed it, then 5 minutes later she’d done a big poo – changed it again and 10 minutes later she finished the poo!
  
• Some poos (think American Mustard!) cannot be contained by a mere nappy and I’ve been hammered twice already, once from side seepage from sheer quantity! Oh and I’ve discovered that its crucial to wait until she’s finished… initially I would jump up and change her straight away after hearing the telltale fart of her pushing one out… well I quickly learned to beware of this, as she often isn’t finished and will squirt more out onto you when she’s on the change table! It pays to wait a good 5 -10 minutes!


• All the days start to merge into one another, and I no longer know what day of the week it is.
  
• Press studs on baby clothes. Clearly they have been put there for the benefit of sleep deprived parents because nothing could be easier to fasten, right? However I’m constantly surprised by just how difficult and complicated it is to line up 3 little press studs and get them closed when you have a wriggling, squirming little bub on the table, and you are half dead with tiredness!

All the gory details

Well I finally have a moment to myself, so I thought I'd share the story of how Skye Lily came into the world.

Hubby has pulled an all-nighter so I could get some sleep, and now its 6am, he’s gone to bed and I’ve just fed and (hopefully) settled miss Skye, so I might get to finish this. She’s a tough one to settle, she just fights sleep like you wouldn’t believe, and is SO alert! I read that newborns don’t stay awake for more than an hour or two at a time – try telling that to my child please!! She can be awake for 5 or 6 hours at a time, so tired but just too interested in everything to sleep. Once she's asleep though she can go for 4 hours or so before waking up, so I shouldn't complain too much. The lack of sleep is really debilitating though, I feel like I'm constantly in a daze.

Anyway… here's the gory details. Warning - its long-winded and probably way too much information!

On Tuesday 29th of December 2009, we had our 41 week hospital appointment. The doc checks me over and everything is normal. Does the internal exam and finds that I am 2cms dilated, so he does a stretch and sweep to try to get things moving. We are also booked in for an induction on 1st January at 4pm, if nothing happens sooner – although he tells hubby that he feels that it will happen before then. We left hospital feeling excited that things might be happening, and then go walk around the shopping centre for a while – I actually bought the first Twilight book “to read between contractions” – humourous now when I think of it, and yes I can see those that are already mothers rolling their eyes at me – I still have not had a chance to open that book!

8pm that night, the period-pain like cramps that I’d been having on and off for weeks start to turn worse – some actually start to take my breath away. I stay calm, assume its more Braxton Hicks, and continue eating dinner and start watching the DVD that we’d hired (Wolverine!). But they start getting stronger, and come with regularity. I start keeping a log of the time, and how long each one lasts. I also give them a “pain rating” out of 10. I tried to be conservative with my ratings, because to my thinking, a rating of 10 was full-on screaming labour pain. I laugh now when I look at how I’d scored some of those early contractions, as a 5 or a 6 out of 10 – HA! Little did I know what real pain was at that stage!!

About 9.30pm I sat forward on the lounge and felt something leaking down below. I assume it might be my “show” (mucous plug which you can lose when the cervix starts to dilate). I sit back, not concerned yet, since a friend of mine had her “show” about 2 days before going into labour, so I’m still not convinced that I’m in labour, and I had a maternity pad on just in case anyway.

Hubby starts getting a bit excited at this stage, but we’re still watching the DVD so he stays pretty calm too – only asking me every 5 minutes if I’m ok.

10pm – I sit forward again, and get another gush. This time I get up and go check. Hmmmm…. I think my waters have broken!!

We ring the hospital – they tell me to come in. I then realize that there are still a bunch of last minute items still not in my hospital bag (make up, mobile phone charger, camera – other daily use stuff) so I madly try to gather everything together between contractions, which are getting more painful.

11.30pm – Arrive at hospital. It is pouring with rain! I get taken into a room and strapped into a machine to monitor bubs heart rate, and my contractions. But the position of the belt isn’t right and it keeps losing the fetal heart rate, and my contractions are barely showing (but boy could I feel them!). I become convinced that they’re going to send me home because I’m not ready yet!

The midwives are reluctant to do an internal because we think my waters have broken (risk of infection if they do it too often) so they use a speculum (the thing they use when you have a pap smear) to have a peek. Its confirmed that my waters have broken, but they cant tell how dilated I am because there is too much fluid in the way.

1am – get wheeled into a birthing suite. I’m starting to really gasp with pain at each contraction, and am cursing the fact that I’d perservered with eating dinner, felt like it was going to come back up for sure.

From this point on, things get a little sketchy as far as time/sequence of events go!

Around 1.30am – in the birthing suite, I hop into the shower because a few friends have told me how heavenly it was to have hot water on your back… it didn’t really do much for me though! The midwife insisted that I should lean on the fitball in the shower, when I much preferred to rest my head on the hard plastic shower seat (so I could grasp the chair legs!). I tried it for a while in the shower, but felt I’d be better off lying on my side on the bed. The contractions were getting stronger, so I asked for some gas. Tried it, felt it did nothing. I found it to be more annoying and frustrating than anything!

The midwife told me to empty my bladder. And the strange thing was, I couldn’t go! I sat on the toilet for a while, nothing… she suggested I hop back in the shower and try… nothing! Yes its hard to pee when you have an audience (hi hubby!!) and harder again in labour – but I just couldn’t go. Midwife said I actually had TWO bumps at that stage, one baby bump, and another BLADDER bump! To my absolute horror, they had to put a catheter in – and I think I was more scared about that than the impending birth!

2.30am-ish – I ask for more drugs. The contractions were feeling unbearable, and the gas was doing jack-shit. I got a pethidene shot in the leg. It took a few minutes to work, and the major relief I found was that I was dozing/drifting off between contractions. It also made me lose sense of time to some degree.

But it could only do so much, and I’d had just about enough, even at this early stage! The gas was useless, I kept telling them so, but every time another wave of contractions started, I kept getting told “Use the gas!! Use the gas!!” and had it thrust into my hand to use. So I would huff and puff into this “useless” thing – just about screaming in agony, and ANGRY that they didn’t seem to be listening – it didn’t work!

At some point I had another internal exam, and I was told that I was 3cms dilated!! AARRGGGHHH!!!! I was horrified, it was so distressing to hear. All that pain for a measly ONE extra centimetre!!

By then I was exhausted. One thing I remember was that between contractions I kept being told to lift my butt off the bed so they could change the padding under me – easier said than done!

At this stage the only words I could utter was “I CANT DO THIS!” – to which my hubby always replied “YES YOU CAN – you are amazing!”.

Eventually I asked for something, ANYTHING to take away the excruciating, relentless pain. Epidural? –yes!! Gimme it!! Make it stop!!

I don’t wanna do this anymore!!!

So they rang to book me in for an epidural – but since it was 6am, I had to wait for an anesthetist, I was told it was an hour away. I remember panicking, thinking how can I endure another hour of this?

But then they did another internal, and I was suddenly 8cms – I’d dilated about 5cms in an hour or so! I got talked into canceling the epidural (since it would probably slow the labour down) and seeing how we went – they told me I was almost there!! But sadly, we weren’t.

By now I had 2 female doctors in the room as well as the midwife and hubby. It was discovered that bub had turned posterior again, which was going to make the next bit more complicated…

I begged for, and got, another pethidene shot…

More of the same, contractions, pain, useless gas – I was panicking, hyperventilating, screaming that I cant do this, and just OVER it! Get this frickin thing out of me!!!

And then suddenly, during these intense contractions, my body did the weirdest thing ever – it started pushing all on its own. I hadn’t been told to push, I didn’t WANT to push, but my body just did it and I found it VERY hard to control. They kept saying “stop pushing!” and I kept saying “I’m NOT!” They told me to breathe through it… and it took all my strength and effort to stop my whole abdominal and pelvic area from bearing down.

These involuntary pushes were the weirdest thing ever, and completely unexpected – I’d never heard of them before.

So, by about 8am we got to 10cms dilated, and I was finally given the ok to start pushing with the contractions. We tried all different positions (easier said than done) but I preferred lying on my side. Hubby had to get one leg in an arm lock so I could bear down against it. I ended up on my back though, this was the easiest to push against.

All during pregnancy I was so worried about everyone looking at my “girly bits” during birth. I was worried about being naked in front of strangers, and I was worried about pooing when I was pushing. I’m a bit shy, so it was a concern…

And just like everyone tells you, when the time came, I didn’t give a shit. All I cared about was getting this thing out of me. And make the pain stop!

Anyway, 2 hours of pushing… bub still posterior and not turning. They can almost see the head. But its just not happening, and to make it worse, the head is also on a crooked angle. They start talking as if I’m not there, might have to do a Caesar? She’s too exhausted to keep pushing like this, the heads not turning…

I’m hyperventilating, freaking out. Doc says I’m pushing so well – not many people can push this hard, for this long – she knows I can do it… if I want, we can do an episiotomy (cutting the perineum) which should see this baby out within the next few contractions (yeah right!)

So I get the snip. I didn’t feel it (it was done in the middle of a contraction) – but I HEARD it. It sounded like someone cutting gristle with kitchen scissors… ugh! There are some things you cant unhear!

It took another 2 or 3 contractions (each contraction having 3-4 pushes) to get the babys head out. The biggest push of my life!

Baby was face up, and at an odd angle. Someone says “heads out!” – everyone looks, except me of course!

She opens her eyes… suddenly nobody cared about the woman on the bed, everyone was oohing and ahhing at the baby looking up at them, whilst still half inside me!! I felt like screaming “HELLO!!? Remember me??” LOL!

Had to wait for the next one or two contractions, and at another big push this hot, purple, slippery little being landed on my chest and was being quickly toweled dry… I was in awe… our baby!

I was dazed and relieved that the worst of the pain was over – time was called – 10.17am. I kept touching the little body on my chest, not quite believing that this was once our “tic tac”!

Hubby came around the other side of the bed and said “it’s a girl, we’ve got a baby girl!!” and I went “Oh yeah, that’s right – we didn’t know!!” I wonder how long it would have taken me to ask!

Funnily enough, when theydid my stitches, the doc said to breathe in the gas while she gave me a local anaesthetic. I thought “whats the point?” but sucked on the gas anyway… and woah! - instant light head, I guess it did work after all!

Its an amazingly empowering feeling... you feel like you can do anything! I cant believe that I managed to push my little girl out, I look at her now and wonder how on earth she managed to fit inside me! You feel proud of yourself too - especially when the doctors said that in 90% of cases, when the baby presents that way, they have to do a caesar. Man am I glad that we avoided that!

So that’s the gory details!

We are slowly adjusting to life with a baby. You dont realise how much it consumes your life. I cant just go to bed anymore when I'm tired. If hubby stays up with her I have to make sure I've expressed enough milk for them. I do a load of washing and it might be 4 or 5 hours before I get to hang it out! We havent eaten dinner together since the night of the labour, one or the other will usually be trying to settle Skye.

Recovery wise, I'm great. The stitches feel like they've healed well. Going to the loo has been a challenge, its scary when you have stitches and you're worried about tearing them down there. Consequently you "put it off" which just makes it harder when you DO go! My stomach has shrunk pretty well too, and amazingly I'm back to within 4kgs of my pre-pregnancy weight! I'm loving being able to sleep on my back again too. Breastfeeding is a whole new challenge, but we're getting there. I think Skye is going to be hyperactive, like her daddy!

Anyway, I'll stop boring you now with all this! Thank you all for your beautiful comments, texts, emails and gifts! This parenting thing is going to be a challenge, but I'm up for it! (just need a little more sleep!)