Sunday night thoughts - feeling lucky

Every day, I try to make sure that I remind myself just how lucky I am. I have a lovely home, a car, clothes to wear and food to eat, and I’m lucky enough to be able to stay home with my babies while my husband works.


The reason I try to remind myself of this, is because I’m a born-worrier, a natural pessimist, and I’m always fearful of something terrible happening that will burst my bubble.

Lately I’m especially grateful for the fact that I have two, happy, healthy, beautiful kids.

When I was pregnant with Koby, I lived in fear that something would go wrong, despite all the assurances that I was a very low-risk pregnancy, despite all the reassurances from various medical staff, nothing could take away my fear.

Although I REALLY disliked being pregnant, I’m super conscious of the fact that I’m lucky to be able to fall pregnant, especially with my PCOS. I know quite a few friends who have struggled, or are still struggling to fall pregnant, rounds of failed IVF etc, only to suffer multiple miscarriages and heartache.


One day I accidentally stumbled upon an online forum for parents dealing with the grief of stillbirth, and my heart absolutely broke reading those stories. I cannot imagine carrying a child all that time – some carrying full-term, only to lose them when they are born. The happiest day of your life turning into a nightmare. Spending the hours and days after the birth cuddling your baby who had passed away. I cant imagine having to go through that. The loss and grief, returning to a house that was expecting a baby, only to be confronted with an empty bassinette, empty car seat, empty pram…


I sat there reading, tears falling down my face, fearing something that like that might happen to us, my heart going out to these families dealing with the loss of their little angels.


It turned into a bit of a habit with me – reading those forums, and it consequently fed my fear of what might happen when Koby arrived. I went through all those worries that I’m sure all mums feel when pregnant, those days when bub doesn’t move as much as previously, and you wonder if everything is ok – to the point where you deliberately eat something sugary to see if that will spur some movement from the little munchkin inside the belly.

I just cant quite beat down the voice of the eternal pessimist that lives inside me.


Of course my fears were unfounded, and Koby was born healthy and perfect. But I’m very aware that I’m lucky, and I still count my lucky stars.


Its staggering to think that the rate of stillbirth is so high. 1 in 135 births in Australia. That’s 6 babies a day. That is massive. Sometimes the cause seems to be the umbilical cord wrapped around the babys neck, this gives me shivers because Koby’s cord was looped loosely around his neck. I’m sure that’s common, but it still makes you count your blessings.

And it really makes me realise that all life, no matter what obstacles are in our way, no matter what life throws at us, is absolutely the most precious thing imaginable. The love you feel for your children, your significant other, pets, your family, is the most important thing in the world – and I really feel that I must stop and smell the roses every single day. I must be thankful and grateful for every moment - not only just the smiles, the milestones and the cuddles, but also the temper tantrums, the nappy explosions, the sleepless nights... because some people just arent so lucky. 

 

My two precious little monkeys!

This week I am grateful for...

...Baby cuddles in an air-conditioned room…



Its been so hot and humid in the last few weeks, almost like summer has only just hit. The days have been long and steamy, making life uncomfortable for little bodies that just want to be held and cuddled.


In the evenings, I’ve been relishing stealing away with my little man to his dark, air-conditioned room, bundling him up in his “Wrap me up” sleeping bag, and cuddling and rocking him til he’s drowsy. Lately he’s been really holding on to his burps, sometimes still burping an hour and a half after his last feed – so I take him away from the noise and lights, away from his big sister during her “rowdy” part of the evening, and just pat, cuddle and sing Edelweiss to him til he’s settled. I don’t care how long it takes, its our special, secret time of day, just me and him.

 
 
 
...New shoes...



Skye had the great fortune to get TWO new pairs of shoes this week. And boy didn’t she love it! Shoe fetishes start early I guess. The first pair are a new pair of Crocs, in lilac, complete with Hello Kitty motif. Her last pair of Crocs have lasted almost a year – we were smart enough to buy a shoe size a little too large, which I must admit never deterred her or tripped her up in the slightest, despite her constant motion. She’s as sure-footed as a mountain goat and I think her life mantra should be “Why walk, when you can run, hop, jump or skip?”


Her new Crocs arrived in the mail while she was having a nap, so I unwrapped them and placed them on the coffee table, ready for her to find when she woke. True to form, as soon as she spotted them she grabbed them with a look of glee on her face, and innocently asked “Are these for me?”

Her new-shoe joy was complete a few days later when her beloved Auntie Nean delivered her an absolutely fabulous pair of Wellington Boots – her first pair! The novelty of these boots has yet to wear off, and she’s constantly clomping around the house in them. Even better, these boots have loops on either side so that she can easily pull them on herself… and so she does… oh my little girl is growing up too fast.

The last few days have been rainy, so I’m sure she’ll be wanting to go jump in muddy puddles in her new Wellys this weekend :)

...Fitting back into non-maternity clothes...

It seems to be taking somewhat longer after the second baby for the ol' body to bounce back to "normal".  Especially my hip bones.  But in the last few weeks I've been really happily surprised to fit back into some of my regular wardrobe.

Most days, especially when I'm staying home, I subscribe to the "wear whats comfortable to breastfeed in" rule - which I must admit, kinda limits your choice, especially in tops/shirts.  Even when you're going out and want to spruce yourself up a little bit, you still have to think about what you wear and whats going to make life easier for everyone.  I also must admit I'm very tired of still having to wear maternity pants, and I'm quite tired of feeling frumpy!

So to have my wardrobe choices expand every week is really quite lovely.  I stand in front of the mirror and do a happy dance, knowing that this is only the beginning.  And then I raid my entire wardrobe to find out what else fits now, and what else I still need to work towards. 

***************************************************************************

Time for me to go have a fabulous weekend with my family... and keep remembering to make each day count! 

A day at the park

This week we took a trip to the park to feed the ducks.  Like most kids, Skye delights in throwing them crusts of bread and watching them scoop it up and fight over the crumbs.  I hadn't planned too well for this trip though, so that morning saw me rummaging through the freezer for a couple of old bread rolls, and a frozen pita bread - certainly not a duck's idea of a gourmet feast, but at least it was something to offer them!

All morning we talked about feeding the ducks, and meeting up with Skye's friend Sofia.  She was excited... I asked her "What do duckies say?  Do they say 'quack quack'?"

"No mummy, duckies cant talk!!"

Hmmm, cant argue with that!

The park was almost empty when we arrived, despite it being a beautiful sunny day.  We slapped on some sunscreen and quickly got busy on the swings - the first stop for any visit to the park.

Next it was time to investigate the fort and slippery slides

Hmmm, so who's going to go first?

I love the look of absolute delight on kids faces as they approach the playground equipment, ready to draw their courage together and try everything the park has to offer.  I especially love watching them come off at the bottom of the slide, with that jumping-up-and-down toddler excitement, ready to run back up to do it all again.

Kids teach you to take enjoyment out of the simplest things.  Its a shame that we forget that when we get older.

After exploring the swings and the fort, it was time to go in search of the ducks.

Umprompted, the girls held hands, and set forth on their mission...

The ducks and birds sensed our purpose and started to fly in from all directions, much to the excitement of the girls.  Shouts of "DUCKIES!!"  and "BIRDIES!!" filled the air.  These ducks are well fed, but they seemed keen for their breakfast that day.

We found ourselves a shady spot and prepared to share the bread.  The girls gave us a few heart attacks when they ventured too close to the edge of the water I must admit!  They had a great time, but the ducks didn't seem too impressed with the stale pita bread. 

We encountered a VERY confident black swan, who came almost right up to the bank.  Poor Skye was a little slow in throwing some bread to the swan, and consequently got her fingers nipped for her trouble.  We had a few tears, but after about 30 seconds she was over it and calmly went back to throwing bread to the swan and ducks.

Thats my girl!

I remember once when I was a kid of a about 4 or 5 years old at a park, a big pelican decided to walk towards me.  It didn't run at me.  It didn't flap its wings at me.  It just calmly walked towards me.  I freaked out and ran screaming back to mum.  I was such a shy, nervous little girl.    So I love how my little girl is so fearless sometimes, but then other times freaks out over something so small.  A big black swan nipped my fingers?  No biggie.  A teeny-tiny spider runs accross the floor in front of me?  AAARRGGHHH MUMMY SPIDER!!!!!! LOL!

The finger-biting black swan.  Must have been hungry... he looks pretty determined.

Sadly the bread supply dwindled, so we moved on to have ourselves a little picnic.  The girls entertained by singing and squealing to each other.  I love how they can keep themselves amused with the simplest things.

Koby did what all self-respecting 11 weeks old should do at the park - he napped...

So big sister took advantage of her extra 20 minutes (the duration of Koby's naps when we're out and about) and headed back to the playground, to tackle THE BIG SLIPPERY SLIDE.

Skye has attempted to climb this slide quite a few times in the past, and whats stopped her has been her nervous mummy!  Her confidence in all things physical knows no bounds, I'm sure she thinks she can fly sometimes, so I have to reign it in constantly and remind her that she might get hurt, and stop her from throwing herself headfirst.

But she's a big bad TWO year old now, so I let her climb it with my hands hovering behind her back.  A couple of times I actually touched her back as she climbed and I was frowned at, silly mummy, I can do it myself!   After about 10 climbs without any slips, or any trouble at all really, I felt like I could breathe enough to let her climb on her own, and took a couple of photos:

And of course the best thing about this was the slide back down!

All in all, a successful day at the park!

Enjoying the moments…

Time is getting away from me this year already. I cannot believe that my little princess is already 2, and my little man is 10 weeks old!

I’m super conscious right now of enjoying every precious moment with my little guy – 2 years with Skye has gone in the blink of an eye, and I know the same will be true with Koby. I want to soak it all in, enjoy all those little snuggly cuddles, make the most of his coo’s and goo’s, and cherish those quiet moments when its just me and him, nursing and gazing at each other.

I cant stop staring at his sweet little face. Every little part of him is perfect. He has the most gorgeous smile – I suppose all mums think their babies smiles are beautiful! But it truly just lights up his whole face, and he’s been smiling so much lately that it just melts my heart. He has a little one-piece suit which says “Daddy’s happy little chappy” – very true!

Skye is so delighted with her little brother that she constantly wants to kiss and cuddle him, hold him, pat him. She is so good with him, and I am so proud of the fact that she never gets angry with him or jealous of him. No – she saves that for me! It breaks my heart sometimes that when I sit down to feed him, she gets upset and says “No mummy, put Koby down? Don’t feed Koby!” My poor little poppet.

Necessarily, Skye is spending a bit more time with daddy lately. Part of me is sad that its not just me and my little buddy anymore. I wish I could divide myself in two and be with both of them at the same time! But part of me also loves watching her and daddy interact. They adore each other, she is definitely daddys little girl.

So far, we’re all sleeping well too! Skye still wakes at 5, or 5.30am – I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that her bodyclock is set to this time. Koby is a catnapper through the day, most naps are 30-45 mins and that’s it. BUT he has been doing longer and longer stretches at night, one night he even blessed us with 11.5 hours straight! Hubby jokingly had to ask “Is he still alive in there?” LOL! He normally sleeps at least 8 straight hours – the worst he’s done is a 6 hour stretch. I haven’t had to get up in the night to feed him for ages now, although every night I prepare myself that tonight will be the night!  I have been very very lucky to have had two great sleepers!

So we are very busy these days, enjoying our family time and trying to make the most of every special moment - and even though sometimes those 'moments' are a 2 year old tantrum, or baby spew on your shirt just as you are heading out the door - as long as we are all healthy and happy, nothing else matters!

The roller coaster ride...

I started writing this post last week but never got to finish it!  Happy New Year everyone!

So anyway, here we are again, on this roller coaster ride called Newborn Baby!

Koby is now 5 weeks old, and what a gorgeous little man he is :)  I'm so thrilled that we are now complete as a family.  He has the most precious little face, I have been lovingly gazing at it almost non-stop since he was born LOL!

The first 2 weeks were awesome, he really lulled us into a false sense of security.  He fell asleep like a dream - couldnt keep him awake!  Although he was a bit fussy during feeds, the fact that he almost straight away started sleeping 5, 6 or 7 hours straight at night was amazing.  His day sleeps were at least 2 hours.  I felt great, getting at least 5 hours of continuous sleep at night will do that :)  Plus I had time through the day to play with Skye.

Then at around week 3 he hit his first growth spurt, and it all went downhill from there.  Suddenly he was REALLY windy, burping and farting constantly!  EXTRA fussy during feeds, not latching on properly, crying straight after feeds, and started waking up every 1-2 hours.  Constantly wanting to be fed, like every hour or two (they call them "frequency days", and by the end of it I feel like I've got no milk left at all).  Waking up 2 or 3 times at night for feeds and more screaming.  Constantly wanting to be held etc etc.

Phew - its exhausting.   Poor Skye has been watching a LOT of TV lately :(

I remember going through all this last time with Skye, so yes I knew it was coming but I suppose I was hoping that he wouldn't be quite as demanding as Skye was!!  The trouble is, you start questioning everything that you're doing.  Is it something that I've eaten?  Something I drank?  Have I not burped him enough?  Am I not wrapping him tightly enough?  Is it my milk?  Is it my fast letdown?  Is it the position I'm feeding him?

And of course, everyone has an opinion on what you should and shouldn't be eating.  The joys of breastfeeding.  Some say that anything that gives YOU gas/wind, will make the baby windy.  They say to eliminate all dairy, wheat, onions, broccoli, cauliflower, citrus fruit/juice, cucumber, peas, capsicum, tea/coffee, chocolate (!!!), tomato, nuts etc  - honestly, the list is endless.  After a while you start to think "What the hell CAN i eat??"

If you go by what you read on the internet, you can pretty much eat rice, and chicken.

I went through all this last time, eliminating everything suspicious from my diet - I did it for a month or more, and you know what?  Nothing changed!  Skye was still a windy, colicky, refluxy baby.  The things that fixed it for Skye were:

a) time
b) baby chiropractic (but then it might just have been a coincidence and good timing)
c) introduction of solid foods at 4 months
d) being able to sit up on her own at around 4-5 months

I keep reminding myself that the hardest time is the first 12 weeks or so.  And Koby is now 5 weeks old , so we're over a third of the way there already hahaha...

Skye has been an absolute little trooper.  She loves her little brother!  She is always wanting to kiss and cuddle him, and wanting to watch his nappy changes, help with his baths.  When we do our bedtime routine and say our goodnights and I love yous, she always says "Lub you Koby!" unprompted.  So sweet, especially since little Koby is taking up so much of mummys time at the moment!

She's been having her moments though, I knew it would be much harder with a toddler and a new baby, but nothing prepares you for the constant demands from both.  And the extra tantrums because the toddler isn't getting as much attention.  To be fair, its only on the days when Koby is very unsettled, but its still tough nonetheless.

Anyway, growth spurt is over now and he's back to just waking once a night.  On Tuesday night he actually slept straight through from 9.10pm until 4.50am - and I slept the entire time too!  Amazing what a difference a full nights sleep can make :)  Koby had his first chiropractic adjustment today too :)

Personally I've been feeling fantastic.  I recovered really well from the birth, actually I felt pretty much back to normal by a day or two afterwards.  I'm still wearing some materntiy pants though, which is annoying me.  I've gained a bit of a spare tyre around the belly which I really want to get rid of ASAP.  I've lost 11kgs so far, so I've got about 6kgs to go to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.  Breastfeeding is helping but I'm not getting any time to myself to exercise - some days I do manage to get both kids to sleep at the same time but I tend to just want to collapse on the couch for 30 mins, or hang out some washing or something, rather than get on the treadmill.  I have managed two training sessions in the last couple of weeks, but its not a priority right now!

So my plan for the moment is to shed as much as I can, slowly, by keeping my food under control (I'm not dieting, just trying to keep my meals healthy and not eat junk!).  Biggest problem is that when I'm tired I reach for sugar, bad news!  The other challenge is remembering to eat, because when you're caring for two demanding little people, you tend to sort them out and then forget about yourself.  Then get so hungry that you end up eating a lot of stuff you probably shouldn't.

Anyway, thats my latest news! 

Koby's arrival...

Here is the story of how little Koby came into the world.  (Warning: long post, some gross bits!)


On the Thursday night we dropped Skye off to hubbys parents and headed in to hospital to start the inducement process. The plan was to insert the gel and leave it overnight to start to dilate the cervix, then go home and wait. If nothing happened overnight then I was to go in Friday morning to have my waters broken and possibly intravenous oxytocin to speed up the process.

When we got there, we were shown into a birthing suite and met the midwife, who hooked me up to the monitor to measure bubs heart rate and movements. Bub was being very sleepy as usual, but it was comforting to see the heart rate steady at around 150 bpm. I had been concerned, especially since bub had slowed down movements in the last few days.  We were only meant to be hooked up to the machine for about 20 mins, but since they were busy it was more like 45mins. The first 20 mins bub didn’t move, but in the last 20 mins or so started to move around a bit. At one point hubby said that the sound of the heartbeat was like Rolf Harris’ wobble board, and for some reason that just tickled us, and we went into fits of hysterical laughter. We joked that bub didn’t want to come out because the wobble board was blocking its way.  (Funny the things that just seem to tickle your funny bone, especially when everyone is a bit nervous!)

Then I had an internal exam and found that I was 4cms dilated anyway, so there was no need for the gel at all, since it would not get me any further than I already was. That was a bit of a relief actually, and we went home feeling positive and hopeful that the stretch and sweep that she also performed might make something happen.

Went to bed early, and actually got an ok nights sleep. I did wake up around 2am with more cramps, but they went away again. Waters hadn't broken naturally so we headed back to hospital for our 6am appointment.

When we got there we were told that it was crazy busy in birthing (it had been a stormy night, and they say its always busier in labour ward when its been storming!), and there was some doubt that they had a spare suite for me!! But there was, and we got settled in birth suite 1. We were warned though that we might be in for a bit of a wait, since all the midwives and doctors were busy with all the labouring ladies, and since nothing had happened with me I was a bit lower on their priorities list!

We waited for 1.5 hours, reading magazines, chatting… and listening to all the other ladies moaning and screaming LOL!   I bounced on the birthing ball and tried not to panic about what was soon to happen. At 7.30am a midwife came in and decided that she could at least break my waters for me to get the ball rolling.

I changed into a gown and got on the bed. Had an internal – no change from the night before. Waters were broken – this was totally painless but I kept getting a gush of water when I moved – weird! I was strapped up to a monitor and again had to wait. After half an hour bub was still asleep (lazy little monkey!) so I was given some juice, and finally bub woke up and moved a bit so they could monitor him.

Another half an hour on the monitor, with baby movement this time (and more gushing ewww!) and I was finally able to get up, pants on, and move around. I had my first little contraction just before the straps came off – around 8.30am.

Then I sat on the birthing ball and bounced and rolled around on it, and started to get some very mild contractions. They lasted about 20 seconds and I could still talk through them no problems. I made sure I kept drinking water, and kept going to the loo – I didn’t want to get stuck with a full bladder that wouldn’t empty like last time!

I used a contraction timer app on my iphone to keep track of contractions. The midwves were amazed at the technology LOL!!  From 8.45am I started to log them at around 8-10mins apart, lasting for 20-30 seconds each. By 9.30 they were about 5-6mins apart and lasting 30-40 seconds – I wasn’t able to talk through them by then and they were really taking my breath away. By 10am they were 3mins apart and 40-50 seconds long – and really painful. They stayed 3mins apart for a while – just increasing in intensity. I was still on the ball at this stage, but finally I got up and tried to walk around – bad idea. The pain was getting way too intense. I just wanted to grab metal bars and shut my eyes!

By 10.30am they were almost 2 mins apart and lasting 45-60 seconds. Hubby had taken over recording of the contractions by now, I couldn’t stay upright any longer and had to lie down on my left hand side on the bed. By 11am the contractions were 1-2 mins apart, and I was starting to really panic and hyperventilate with the pain.

The doctor came in and laughed that things were a bit more intense than when he’d come in a few hours ago. I was in too much agony to say anything but in the back of my mind I was swearing at him for making a joke of the situation. He asked if I wanted any pain relief, and I asked for gas. He said my next check up with him would be in 45 mins, so he’d see us then and left.  (And I never saw him again, as the baby was out before my next review!)

By now with the contractions so close, I had started to sweat profusely. It was dripping off me and I just remember thinking that I was burning, I was so hot. Hubby started to fan me with a magazine and it felt heavenly. I was drenched in sweat, still wearing the purple hospital gown, bra and undies.

After a few goes on the gas, I started to panic even more – thinking that I had hours of this still ahead of me, and started demanding an epidural. Hubby did his best to dissuade me (since I had already pre-decided NOT to use it), but I was determined. I couldn’t take this pain anymore. He even asked the midwife to tell me all the negatives (I would have to sit still for the needle, it would take 40 mins for them to get it organized, I wouldn’t be able to walk around, I’d have to have a catheter etc) but I was not going to be deterred. Each contraction was worse than the one before it, and I could not imagine having to go through hours more pain like this. I was shrieking in agony each time a contraction hit, and I’m normally a very quiet person! I didn’t even make much noise when Skye was born, but this was just too quick and intense!

Then at the next contraction I felt like I had to push so I shouted “I need to push!!”. Midwife was a bit taken by surprise I think, so she asked me to roll onto my back so she could check me (I hadn't been checked since before my waters were broken). My undies/pad were completely saturated by this stage, so she had to peel them off me (I remember thinking in the back of my mind how sorry I felt for her, and how gross that would be!).

I then started babbling about how I cant push yet, its too soon, I’m not ready yet etc. I had to explain this by saying that I had the urge to push last time when I was only 8cms and was told I must not push under any circumstances (easier said than done when your body wants to do its thing). So I assumed the same thing had happened again.

Anyway she checked me and said “oh you sneaky thing you – you’re 10cms fully dilated and ready to go! That was quick! We’ll have this baby out very shortly!” And kept calling me “clever girl, sneaky girl etc etc” and all the while I was thinking “Yeah yeah I bet you say that to EVERYONE!”

So I had to slow things down and calm my breathing. Midwife asked me to listen very carefully, as she would be giving me instructions on how to push and it was really important that I do exactly as she said.

Funnily enough from this point on I don’t remember the pain of the contractions, as I had something to really focus on and a purpose to the pain.

After 2 contractions of pushing they could see the head. A couple more contractions and the head was almost out. The midwife warned me then about the ‘ring of fire’ – which actually wasn’t as bad as I’d thought (maybe all those practice sessions with the epi-no paid off). I had to do little pushes, stop, more little pushes, then stop etc, so that his head didn’t just shoot right out of me and cause tearing!

And then his head was out, and he was face down – NOT posterior!! Phew! And then, according to my birth plan, Hubby took some photos of the head being out! I’m so glad he did that, I’m fascinated by those photos and the wonder of just HOW on earth that head could fit through there!

I then slowly slowly pushed out his body with the next couple of pushes.

Scott got bub immediately and placed him on my chest and told me we had a little boy! And I instantly panted “told you it was going to be a boy!”

I felt a huge surge of relief that the worst was over, and the next thing I said was “Thank God I never have to do that again!!”

I was shaking for a while afterwards, in shock. I had the injection in my leg to speed up the birth of the placenta, which came out whole. I did have to push that out too, but it was nothing after pushing out a baby.  We both had a good look at the placenta too - quite fascinating really.  The midwife was great at explaining how it all worked.

I was quite pleased with myself that I had done it all with just a few puffs of gas (maybe 10 mins worth) and that I had no tearing, no episiotomy, and no stitches – just a very small graze. The midwife also said that I’d had an almost bloodless birth too!

I was amazed at how I was much more lucid this time around - I guess because it was so much shorter in duration I didn't have time to get fatigued and fuzzy-headed.  Big advantage not having pethidene either, last time I was pretty spaced out between contractions, but this time I was much more aware of my surroundings, what people were saying and doing.  It was like I was going through this horrendous pain, but I still had this under-layer of conciousness that was thinking clearly and normally, enough to be annoyed at the doctors comments or to have total understanding of the midwifes instructions or whatever.

The cord had been wrapped loosely around his neck once, but he was fine. A grand total of 3 hours in labour, and only 10 mins of pushing!

After all that excitement I felt really cold and shivery for a while, so hubby covered me up in blankets. We then spent the next couple of hours just gazing at our son, and talking about the experience, and trying to decide on a name!

In hindsight, I’m glad that I had to be induced – if my waters had broken naturally and I’d waited until the contractions were close enough together before going to hospital, perhaps we wouldn’t have made it in time! Who knows, I’m just grateful that it all went smoothly and we have a beautiful baby boy to add to our family!

He's here!

Our little man, Koby Zack, arrived safe and sound at 11.35am on Friday the 2nd of December!  Birth weight 3.22kgs (7pds 1oz), 52cms long and 35cm head circumference.

He was 10 days overdue, and I had to have my waters broken (no gel or drip though thankfully!) - but it was only a 3 hour labour in the end!  Although I have to admit that the last half hour to 45 mins was one of the most painful in my life - it was excrutiating!  And since it all happened so quickly there was no time for drugs, so all I had was gas for about 10 mins, and then it was time to push!  And 10 mins of pushing and he was out!  Thankfully he was facing the right way, so all those fears about a posterior birth were unneccesary.  Happily, no stitches or anything so I'm feeling great physcially... just very very tired.

So a very different experience compared to the first time around.

I will be back later to blog more about the details (since I love birth stories!) - for now I'm trying to figure out how to juggle a newborn and a toddler on my own since hubby has had to go back to work already :(  Forgot just how exhausting a newborn can be!

OVER IT!!!!!!

Officially one week overdue now... still waiting AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

Will be induced on Thursday night/Friday morning if nothing happens before then.  Keep your fingers and toes crossed that we can avoid that scenario if possible.

Hurry UP baby!!!

Nope, still pregnant!

Just in case you were wondering - I'm still here, tapping my foot impatiently!

*Sigh* - this is one of the worst things about pregnancy, waiting... waiting...  Due date is tomorrow, but dont hold your breath!  Doesn't feel like anything is happening.  Next hospital visit is on Thursday.

I've mentally started making a list of all the things I'm going to do once I dont have an enormous bump in front of me.  Things like giving my hubby and Skye a full-frontal hug, without feeling like we've got a basketball between us.  Or being able to sleep on my back again. Or sleeping without constant hip pain.  Or being able to pick things up off the floor again, or have more than 3 items of clothing that fits me!! 

Yes, can you tell I'm at that REALLY whiney, whingey, complaining stage?? LOL!  And yes its exciting to be having a new baby too, I hadn't forgotten about that!

It hasn't been helping that Skye has been really frustrating with her sleeps lately.  She started to drop her day sleep altogether, and is now waking at 5.20am every day - regardless of her bedtime.  I've got her mostly back on track with her day nap, but still cant work out why she's waking so early in the mornings... just another challenge, another phase!

Our pup Dutchy is proving to be a great little addition to our home though, and its wonderful how well he and Elke get along together too, since this was one of the main things we were concerned about.  Elke can be a teeny bit, ummm, aggressive, with other dogs - but somehow she just seemed to "know" that Dutchy belonged.  Animals are so smart sometimes.

Anyway, the other week I'd put them to bed and turned out the light - but then a few minutes later realised I'd forgotten something so switched the light back on - and I caught them - like this:

They looked SOOO guilty LOL!!  Huddled on Dutchys bed (Elke has her own of course, it was just funny that they both squeezed into the same bed)  It looked so funny that I had to turn on the light and take another photo:

Awwww, they love cuddling together!

So glad they have each other now :)

In other news...

The evolution of our main bathroom.  18+ months in the making.

It started out looking like this below: (before we bought the house - Sept 2009).  Not really to our tastes!



We had a separate toilet and bathroom.  My husband, ever the "cant-help-myself" home renovator (and yes its just handy that he's a licensed carpenter by trade as well) decided back in March 2010 that the bathroom needed "fixing".  Main reason was that we had a 3 month old baby at the time, and only a spa bath in our ensuite to bath her in.  So the aim was to renovate the main bathroom to give us a more child-friendly bathroom.

 

 Out came the dividing wall... up came some tiles.  The tiles had other ideas about being removed though, they were stuck fast!

 Pretty horrible... pink blinds... nice!

So then he had to extend the wall out and move the laundry door too so that it didn't open into the new bathroom space (laundry is also in the process of being done) 

Piping had to be changed and diverted from the corner, to the back wall.  We lived with it like this for a long time!  I had started to shun visitors because of the state of the bathroom!

And then.... suddenly it all started to happen about 6 weeks ago!  Our tiler mate came around and did the floor to ceiling tiles for us.  The bath had been in position for a while, but then it actually got plummed in!!

Next thing to tackle was the surround for the bath.  Hubby bought some Tallowwood flooring "seconds" a while ago, with a view to using it in the bathroom and laundry.  This timber is beautiful.  We actually had a cabinet-maker mate come around to design our bathroom for us months ago, however he told us that hubby's design for the bath surround could not be done!!   Yes it was painstaking and fiddly, but its a custom built work of art as far as I'm concerned :)  Perhaps I'm biased :)

He also used the Tallowwood for the vanity drawers.  Some Caesar Stone for the benchtop and some lovely chrome taps make a difference too.

And this is the bathroom as of November 2011 as it nears completion!

The bath - looking all shiny and lovely!  We are going to put some little accessories/candles/knick-knack type things in the niches - we just need to decide on a colour and go from there.  Now that the timber has been all laquered up it looks awesome.

And the new vanity, again custom-made with the Tallowwood.  The only remnant of the old bathroom here is the gold powerpoint and light switch.  White ones coming soon!



And the last things on the bathroom "to-do" list - sand and paint the ceiling, square-set cornice, and some down-lights!

So nice to have a shiny new bathroom!

Waiting... waiting...

Yes I'm still here, still waiting!

About 11 days to go now until our official due date - although Skye was 8 days late so I'm not holding my breath!!

I'm at that really uncomfortable stage now - where it doesn't matter how I sit, how I lie down in bed, or how I stand - you just cant get comfortable, or even sleep.  How cruel is it, that at a time in life when you need the most sleep you can get, you just cant get it!  I dont sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time now, either waking up to go to the loo, or just waking up so I can roll over to reduce the pain in my hips, or waking up to adjust the multitude of bloody pillows that I now share the bed with - aaarrggh!!

I have finished work as of Tuesday though, so thats a relief.  Baby capsule is now installed in the car - and wow, does it feel strange when I look back and see TWO kids seats in the back of my car!! 

Anyway its all for a good cause!  Although I'm starting to freak out - I want this baby out now, but I know what I have to go through to get it - eeeek!!

Thought I'd share with you a conversation I had with my 22 month old daughter in the car the other day:

Skye:  "Mummy?"
Me :    "Yes Skye?"
Skye:  "Mummy mummy?"
Me:     "Yes?"
Skye:  "MUMMY!!!!"
Me:     "What?"
Skye:  "Mummy mummy mummy MUMMY!  Mummy!  MUMM-EH!  Muu-uum... mummy... mumm-ehh!  MUMM-EH!!"  etc etc etc and continued for 15 mins (all said while grinning at me in triumph)

Me:    "Sigh"

How do you manage it?

So all you mums with more than one child – HOW DO YOU DO IT??


The further along in this pregnancy I get, the more and more I start to worry about how the hell I’ll cope with a baby and a toddler.

Of course you just “do it” and you somehow manage to get through the days, but are there any tips or tricks for how to better manage it?


I’ve been thinking back on the early days with Skye – unfortunately she had colic and silent reflux - but we didn’t realise she had reflux til she was older, and it explained A LOT.

Anyway, I vividly remember some days where it would take me 2 + hours to get her to settle off to sleep, often with non-stop screaming along the way. Only to have her sleep for 20 minutes, wake screaming for a feed, and go through it all again. Exhausting. I would come out of her room after hours of burping and settling her, to flop on the couch and cry. Quite a stressful time.


We tried everything to fix the colic/reflux, but sadly the only remedy was time, and putting her on solids at 4 months as advised by the doctor.


Obviously I had the time to spend settling a colicky/refluxy baby back then – but I will not have that luxury this time.


Of course we’re hoping to not have a second unsettled baby. I’d like to officially place my order for one of those “dream” babies you hear about!!


Unfortunately, both reflux and colic runs in my husbands family – they AAALLLLL had either one or the other, even his niece and nephew. However there is none in my family, so we can but hope.


This bub is MUCH quieter and less active than Skye was. Skye was beating me up internally, constantly, from about 16 weeks onwards – all day AND all night. She never seemed to stop kicking me or constantly hiccuping while in utero. And she’s totally active now, never stops. This bub though seems MUCH more sedate. Sometimes I get a bit worried because I haven’t had much movement – and then I get a good strong kick or feel it "squirm" and feel better.


Anyway, I’ve bought a Maya Wrap/ring sling to try, as I’ve heard that baby-wearing can help. I’ve also got a Baby Bjorn carrier too from last time. I’m thinking that this bub might just have to learn to sleep on the run, in the swing or in the baby carrier. Or else I might just have to buy some noise-cancelling ear phones!

Hellooo!

Hello my poor neglected blog, are you still there?? I seriously don’t know where the time goes these days!



We’ve got about 7 weeks to go until we meet the newest family member, and the countdown has begun in earnest! Cannot WAIT for this pregnancy to be over!

The whinging has started MUCH earlier with this pregnancy :)

Seems like my coping abilities are declining with age maybe? Anyway, I’m certainly not breezing through this pregnancy like I did last time.  My knuckles started to swell weeks ago, so I’ve had to move my wedding and engagement ring to my little finger so that they don’t get stuck like they did last time.

I’ve also just this week started to notice some slight swelling in my feet – here comes the “sausage toes” look, just in time for summer – hooray! :)
 I think the main reason for the lack of coping is having a child approaching the terrible twos!! I love my child to death, but seriously she is learning how to push all my buttons lately.



Is it normal for a child of this age-group to NOT CARE if they get into trouble? I mean, everything is like water off a ducks back to this kid. Cheeky? Oh yeah, with a capital “C”. She doesn’t care if she gets yelled/roared at, privileges removed, bedtime story withheld, nothing else to eat if she doesn't eat dinner, smacks on the bum or anything. Just doesn’t care - everything is funny to her.


Last night she decided that she’d had enough of her dinner, and started squirming in her high-chair, twisting around, and then standing up in it. After being asked a couple of times to sit down, daddy ROARED at her to sit down. Which she did. She hung her head for about 5 seconds, then glared at him and gave him the evil eye for 5 seconds, and then proceeded to chuckle and giggle at him!



To which we both had to turn our heads and cover our faces so she wouldn’t see us cracking up laughing! But she saw us laughing anyway, and it just reinforced to her that getting into trouble is funny!!  How do you deal with that?  Its SO hard not to laugh!


I suppose the good thing is that she doesn’t sulk, ever. She gets over things in the blink of an eye. Its hard to stay mad with her for long because she herself just ‘gets on with it’.


She hasn’t really had many tantrums yet – her big thing is if she decides she doesn’t want to walk where I want her to go, she just lies down – wherever she happens to be – in the shops, on the driveway, in a carpark etc. She just lies down and looks at me as if to say “ha-ha – come get me!” So I then pick her up, drag her by the arm or whatever – I try to make her walk if I can, since my back isn’t coping with carrying her much anymore. I’m fast running out of energy, especially with a huge pregnant belly as well.


Negotiations don’t really work either, so sometimes I just give in because I really don’t have the energy or the patience to fight with her anymore. Toddlers really are exhausting little people!

Progress photos and our newest family member

A few "bump" photos from this pregnancy... I must admit I've been extremely slack at taking photos this time around!  Last time I took them every 2 weeks, pretty much religiously.  But these days I just forget to.

18 weeks and I was pretty much feeling just fat at this stage.

 20 weeks

 27 weeks and HOLY DOOLEY I've suddenly "popped"!  My belly button is even sticking out already! 

I think I'm going to feel like a whale by the end, considering I've still got 12 + weeks to go. 

Getting a few comments that I'm much bigger, sooner, this time around. 

The weather has started to warm up and I've been able to go without jumpers for the last week or two, so perhaps its just suddenly visible now.  Had a few comments from other mums at playgroup that they didn't even realise I was pregnant, and then suddenly I'm VERY pregnant!

For the last month or so I've been feeling quite restricted around my ribs.  I have to be careful not to eat too much at one sitting because it feels like my lungs dont have enough room in there.  Dont remember feeling this way last time!

Anyway - in other news:

We got a puppy!

I know, I know - in 12 weeks we'll have a newborn baby and a toddler, and then we go and add a puppy to the mix??  Are we insane??

This is Dutchy - he's a 12 week old toy poodle X pomeranian.  (yes, he's sort-of named after a character from Sea Patrol, but it does suit him!)

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you might remember that we lost our beloved Alaskan Malamute Shavez, not long before Skye was born (Read here if you want to feel sad).

We've umm-ed and ahhh-ed about getting another dog ever since.  We still have our beautiful miss Elke (Border Collie X Keeshond) who is now 8 years old, and my gorgeous Siamese Cat Connor who is now nearly 14 - but my husband has been missing "his boy" ever since that awful day.

Sometimes we still sit and chat about Shavez, and it usually still ends in tears from both of us.

So getting a new pooch has been a long time coming, but hubby just hasn't been ready.  It will be 2 years on Fathers Day since we said goodbye to Shavez.

Miss Elke is an awesome dog, but she's a little strange that she never gets excited when we get home  -most dogs leap about in crazed excitement.  She wont sit with him while he's working outside, she'll come inside and sleep on her own instead.  She's a bit of a loner in that respect.  (I love her to pieces though - she's SO good with Skye, so patient and smart, and I can leave food on the ground in front of her all day and she wont touch it unless I say she can)

Anyway, after deciding that he wanted a little lapdog, hubby found this little pup on the internet on Saturday - and agonised over it for hours!  Finally we made a mad dash to the northside of Brisbane to check out this little man (in the pouring rain!) and came home with him!

How could we refuse a face like this!

Let the games begin!

Baby names

Oh my poor neglected blog! If anyone is still reading, I apologise for my lack of posting!

Partly I’m just busy, partly I’m just uninspired. I’m sure everyone is sick of reading my dribble! The only things I’ve got to talk about are my toddler, and my pregnancy and at the moment I’m into my 3rd week of battling a cold/chesty cough/tonsillitis so my motivation is quite low right now!

Anyway, onto baby names…

Wow – its SO hard to come up with baby names that you can both agree on. Last time, we had two girls names picked out – our number one pick was Piper Lily, and our “back up name” was Skye Lily (but we both preferred our first choice). I’m a big believer in having a few options!

When she was born, I looked at her and I thought to myself “She doesn’t LOOK like a ‘Piper’”… and two seconds later my husband said the exact same thing! So by default, she became Skye! I couldn’t imagine her with any other name now!

It was lucky that we had a girl, because we had absolutely ZERO boy names picked out. We just couldn’t agree on anything.

During my labour, my husband was asking all the midwives:

“Have you got any good boys names?” I didn’t know about this until later, I was so wrapped up in my own little world LOL!


Girls names seem to be much easier. Boys names are tougher in my opinion!

Names are so individual too. Once the baby is born, people will generally say that it’s a lovely name, whether they actually feel that way or not! It doesn’t matter though, as long as we like it.

How did you go about choosing names? Baby name book? Internet site? Celebrity name?


Before Skye, I’ve only had to name pets in the past. I had a beautiful Staffie once, and named him “Tyler”. I got his name by flicking through the White Pages, looking for surnames that appealed to me.

When we got miss Elke (Border Collie X Keeshond) she was nameless for a day or two. We toyed with the idea of “Sassy” and even called her that for a day, but it wasn’t right. I found “Elke” on a baby name website, and it just fit. (We pronounce it “Elkie”).


Connor the Siamese cat got his name from the Highlander movie (“Connor MacLeod, of the clan MacLeod!” – I used to love that movie, and this is the only line I remember from it!)


We like unusual names, but not so weird that they’ll get teased. We prefer names of just one or two syllables too – it just seems to fit with our surname better.

I have about 5 iphone apps dedicated to Baby Names – I guess I’ll just keep looking! Time is running out though – we need inspiration!

Thoughts on Childbirth for Bub Number 2

The Jellybean at 19 weeks

Well, I'm almost 22 weeks pregnant now, over half way - where is the time going?  We have a revised due date of the 22nd of November (one day earlier LOL!) so lets hope this little one doesn't keep us waiting like Skye did!

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would do differently for this birth – which is frighteningly fast approaching!

I think that having “been there and done that” once before, you are LESS scared of the actual birth process itself. But having said that, it doesn’t mean I’m not scared!!  In a few ways I'm MORE nervous, because I know whats coming!  When we first found out I was pregnant, I found myself trying to sleep, but having flashbacks of the birth, and started wondering "What the hell am I doing this again for??!!"

I had a relatively “ok” birth the first time around. Skye had been posterior at around 34 weeks, but by 36 weeks she had turned around the right way. By the time I went into labour at 41 weeks, she was back to posterior again! A lot of babies turn themselves during labour, but not my stubborn little monkey. So she came out face up and mummy had to have a ‘snip’.

The doctor at the hospital asked me last week whether, if I had the choice, if I would "do" another posterior birth without the epidural, as I did last time.  Hmmm, will have to think on that one.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about whether having one posterior baby leads to a likelihood that the second baby will also be posterior. The last doc said there was about a 30% chance - but a lot depends on mums body and how the pelvis is built. I found it particularly frustrating, because the “cure” for getting a posterior baby to turn is to spend a lot of time on your hands and knees so your belly swings down, sitting forward on chairs (and not slumping back into couches when watching TV etc), to make gravity do its job and get the heaviest part of bub (their back) to naturally fall towards your front.

BUT – here’s the frustrating and difficult part – how do you manage that when you have edema (swelling of feet, ankles, legs and hands) as well? Because whenever I complained of that to the docs/midwives, the recommendation is to “put your feet up/recline, lie down/have your feet higher than your hips” etc. Which contradicts what you’re meant to do for a posterior bub.  So you do both - and neither helps the other.

Anyway, maybe I’m counting my chickens before they’ve hatched, but its something I’ve been thinking about.

I was relatively active in my first pregnancy, still exercising regularly until about 26 weeks, I worked full time in a busy role until 35 weeks pregnant too, along with packing and moving house when 7 months pregnant. I’m probably less active these days – not as much exercise as I’d like, and my job involves walking from the lounge room into the study and sitting down at the computer for the entire duration of Skyes naps. So I guess I’m concerned that a posterior birth is more likely.

For the actual birth process, I have a few ideas.

Last time I hated the gas, and so I’m going to tell them this time to bugger off with it unless I ask for it. I didn’t have the strength or knowledge to say no last time, every time I cried in pain, the midwife would say “USE THE GAS, USE THE GAS!!” and I just dutifully obeyed when it was shoved in my face. I found the gas annoying more than anything. Plus it gave me a dreadfully dry, sore throat for a couple of days afterwards – it hurt to swallow!

The other thing I’m going to ask for is WATER!! I drank zero water during my last labour. Hubby didn’t think to give me any, nobody else thought to give me any. And honestly it was the last thing on my mind, but I was so parched and dehydrated afterwards that I really wish I had. So that will be hubbys job this time around – to at least keep offering (even when I’m swearing at him LOL!).

I’d also like him to take a few photos this time around. Not of the ‘gory’ bits, but just the environment in general. I don’t remember much of anything except pain from last time (hazy memory due to the pethidene I think), and the only photos we took were AFTER Skye had entered the world.

And I’d like to have a bit more of an active birth this time. Last time I was so caught up in my own little world, I just wanted to lay down and grip the bars of the bed and squeeze my eyes shut and not think about anything. But I think I should try to do some breathing exercises this time, stay on my feet more (or at least just lean on the bed, rather than lie on it). Hopefully that might let me have more of a sense of reality, rather than just be in a bit of a haze the whole time. I guess the pethidene didn’t help with that though, as it makes you doze off between contractions. Maybe I can avoid it this time!

And finally of course I'm hoping for a shorter labour this time - although I cant really complain too much, Skye took about 14 hours "unofficially" (or 9 hours if you go by the hospitals records of "official" length of labour) - so I shouldn't really complain I guess!

Hoarding

We are part the way through setting up Skye's new bedroom, complete with a new King Single bed!!  (We're going to need the cot, and the room beside ours for the new arrival in November).  Now I just need to get some decor happening in there, some block-out blinds and a safety rail for the bed and she'll be ready to move in!

So yesterday I cleared out the wardrobe of her new bedroom (which was previously the ‘spare’ room – commonly thought of as the ‘junk room’) to make way for the move.

This room has been the prime place for storing things that we don’t use often, or don’t know where else to put them. It also contained a double bed for "guests" (except we never have any stay overnight these days), spare TV, golf clubs, extra clothes, Christmas decorations, boxes still unpacked from the last move etc.  Every house I’ve ever lived in has had a room like this, and I just move this junk from one house to the next!

YesterdayI discovered about 7 rolls of wrapping paper in the wardrobe (and yet I could never find any when I needed it!), and I finally came to the conclusion that I have a serious problem with hoarding gift bags. Whenever people give presents in a gift bag, I always save them with the thought that they are so cute, I’ll use that again. And guess what, I never do! So I have dozens of gift bags "saved" for that purpose!

Another sadder realization that I finally admitted to is the fact that I’m a shocking hoarder of anything sentimental from my past. I mean, I knew that I still had these things, but for some reason I couldn’t let them go. I went through bags containing my high school English lecture pad, with stories I’d written as a teenager (I was an aspiring short-story writer back then).  Also, my year 12 student diary and class timetables, with lots of scribbles, notes and jokes inside from friends now long lost. I used to be a member of a theatre group after I finished school, and I’d kept all the old programs of shows that I’d gone to or been involved with – also from those days I’d kept cast newsletters, song lists, scripts, handwritten notes regarding plays that I was in…

I found my old poetry book, where I wrote some pretty good poems (and some pretty bad ones too). And for some reason, I’d kept all my wall calendars from the last 15 years – handy in case I ever wanted to know what date I went to the dentist back in 1998, or what movies I went to see in 2001!!

I also found things from when I was 15 or 16 when I was MAD on the TV shows like The Young Ones and Monty Python movies/series – so I’d written out entire scripts from the skits I liked, along with Monty Python song lyrics… scribbles on paper with lines from Doors or The Cure songs that I listened to at the time etc

I also found my old guitar that I tried to teach myself to play on, when I was about 14!! I keep carting these things from house to house every time we move. I don’t even think about NOT bringing them, because I suppose they are a part of me and my history.

But yesterday I culled about one third of it. I’ve kept the stuff that I just cant even contemplate dumping (and probably wont). I’ve still got a couple of shoe boxes of cards, letters, postcards and photos to go through yet, so I might be getting rid of even more junk soon.

Part of me feels a bit sad at throwing away this “junk”. I know most of it is meaningless, but I suppose its what it represents, rather than what it is. All of these things remind me of certain times, artistic times, or certain friendships. The fact that I haven’t looked at any of these things for years means nothing, its just a part of me.

But another part of me knows that I cant continue to hoard ALL of this stuff for the rest of my life (otherwise I'd need a whole house to store it all!), and I know that it’s a good thing to let some of it go. I have the memories, and that’s what counts.

Luckily I’m not a hoarder of anything else!!

But don’t get me started on my husbands Car Magazine Collection – and he doesn’t see anything wrong with that either!