Thursday, June 25, 2009

The journey up to now:

Well, I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone for all your comments and well wishes, I really appreciate each and every one of them, thank you so much!!

I am currently enjoying the "glow" of being pregnant, I dont remember ever being so happy and content in my life, now with a gorgeous husband and a bub on the way. It must be those 'happy hormones' that they tell you about :-) Life is great and I'm loving every minute :)

Back at gym this week after 2 weeks off (had a week off before and after the wedding) - did some piddly little weights on Tuesday, its taking some time adjusting to the different way of training, I'm so used to going as hard and as heavy as I can!

Received my wedding photos on disc today, so exciting! There are some really nice ones, so I will post them soon, maybe over the weekend.

I'm going to post my experiences of my first trimester now. Its part of a journal that I've been keeping ever since we started trying to get pregnant. I'm sure it will be long and boring for most of you, but I want to have it here for my records. Please feel free to tune out now!

25th April 2009 Saturday – SURPRISE!!

Ok, so after 4 attempts with clomid – nothing worked. I stopped drinking alcohol, removed coffee, and really concentrated hard on what we were trying to achieve. And nothing.

After 4 unsuccessful attempts, we decided to stop trying. Ob/gyn wanted me to have more tests, laproscopy, have my ovaries drilled etc. But, we’re getting married in June, so I said I wanted to wait until after that. She agreed.

So that was the plan.

In February, I stopped all treatment. I focused on getting this wedding organized. I drank coffee every day, drank alcohol like a fish.

And I’m now pregnant… go figure!

My period was 10 days late. I kept telling myself that it was going to start any minute. I kept getting little pains thinking that it was about to start, I tried not to think about it, and continued to drink coffee and alcohol. On Monday my boss asked me if I was ok, he said I was looking pale (who knew a man could notice such things?! Didn’t think anything of it at the time) Then on Tuesday we found out that a friend of ours is pregnant again. I got a little upset. Drank some more. Wednesday I still hadn’t got my period. So I decided that if it didn’t come by the time I got up for gym on Thursday morning, I would do a test.

Even so, when I got up on Thursday, I kept thinking – this is ridiculous, I can FEEL my period about to start, I’m just late. Plus, every time I go to Gympie (like I was on Thursday), I seem to get my period. So I decided that it wasn’t going to be any different.

It was positive. I think I went into shock.

I called OH in, and he was very very happy – even had tears in his eyes.

All day, up to Gympie and back, I kept thinking – I cant believe it, I cant believe it – I’m pregnant!

So, its early days yet. I am in about week 5-6 I think. I’m going back to the ob/gyn on Monday, hopefully we’ll have it all confirmed!

Feeling a bit weird about actually. Think I’m still in shock. I’m over the moon though! The worst thing is that I cant tell anyone! I think that after the ob/gyn confirms it, I’d like to tell both our parents.

No symptoms yet either – just a little tired, and little bit of dizziness.

Fingers crossed all goes well!

28th April 2009 Tuesday – 6 weeks pregnant

So far so good. Went to the Ob/gyn yesterday and she was quite happy for me, specially after a year and a half of tryin!

So I’ve got to have my blood tests on 25th of May, and first ultrasound on the 10th of June (3 days before the wedding!!). I was surprised that she didn’t do any tests on me, not even another pregnancy test. She just took my word for it! I did show her my own pregnancy test that I’d saved, so maybe that was enough. I think its too early anyway for much.

Due date is 22nd of December!

On Sunday I bought a whole heap of fruit, and then really REALLY felt like having some fruit/banana – I normally hate banana!! Not sure if that classifies as a craving, I doubt it.

Still feel fine, feeling tired this morning because I stayed up to watch the finale of the Biggest Loser, it was a late night for me. Felt a little light-headed during cycle class yesterday, even though I was faking it with the tension lever. Ob/gyn says to take it a little easier, and she doesn’t think I should do weights any more… boohoo. Don’t know that I’m happy about that.

Will have to get a referral to a public ob/gyn, since my current one is private, it would cost an absolute fortune to have this baby with her. Plus she doesn't work at the hospital that I want to go to.

So we’ll stick with her until after the first scan and blood test, then get the referral for public. Medibank wont kick in until February next year!!

I’m restraining myself from buying every pregnancy book and magazine under the sun!

Tuesday 5th May 2009 7 weeks pregnant

Yesterday (Labour day holiday) we broke the news to both sets of parents. My mum almost cried, she said she was never this excited when she found out SHE was pregnant!

OH's dad got all teary too. Although we explained that its very early days, and that anything could happen, I think we made their day. :)

Had a slight scare on Sunday night, I had a little spotting. I googled this though, and apparently its quite normal. As long as you aren’t bleeding red blood, and having severe abdominal pains, its fairly normal to have spotting during pregnancy. (What would I do without Google??)

Our Best Man to-be was here on Sunday, and he was testing his resting heart rate. His was 45 or something (he is so fit!), OH's was 60-something. Mine was 80. They were both “that cant be right”. I was thinking shit I’m unfit!

We did it quite a few times, and yep, mine was 80. Then OH and I looked at each other and went “ohhhh… I get it” and exchanged knowing glances. I was worried that it meant I was going to miscarry (same night as the spotting), but then I read yesterday that a pregnant womans resting heart rate is 20% higher, due to the increased load on the body.

Today I went to gym and did a 1st trimester pregnancy weight training session. I was almost embarrassed about how little weight I was lifting. I thought that people must be staring at me, thinking “wow, she’s not working very hard!”. Paranoid. Because obviously, it’s not common knowledge. And I don’t look any different. But now I have to train different, use baby weights and high reps.

I keep waiting for signs of pregnancy to whack me in the face. So far, the main thing has been sore boobs. I cant stop eating fruit – cant get enough mandarins. Previously, you’d have to force me to eat fruit.

Since Friday I’ve been feeling a little hung-over all day. Like I’ve been on a huge bender the night before, only, I haven’t.

I’ve become obsessed about my boobs. OH just laughs at me – he cant wait until they get bigger. Right now, they are firmer, but lumpy and sore.

I went and did the groceries on Saturday, and the sight of all the meat turned my stomach. I didn’t buy much meat this week because of that, so I’m not sure what this weeks meals will consist of!

I’m so hungry, all the time! I cant seem to fill the hole. Eating seems to keep the queasiness at bay, so I feel like I’m eating a lot more often. Like I’ll eat something, and an hour later, I’m ravenous again. Trying to make good choices, but there has been a lot less protein, and a lot more dairy and carbs on the menu. Trying to get more calcium in, so I’ll have a slice of vintage cheddar every day, with a few vita-weet. Plus about ½ cup of skim milk with my oats in the morning (had to chuck the cottage cheese out, don’t want to risk it, although its probably fine to have – I’d still class it as a soft cheese).

My toothpaste tastes horrible.

I’m calling it my little tic tac. That’s about the size at 5-6 weeks, and its much better than calling it “it”. I’ve been talking to tic tac a little bit, telling it to stay safe in there, be strong and healthy.

Still keeping fingers crossed!

Tuesday 12th May 2009 – 8 weeks pregnant

Tic tac is still with us!!

On Saturday night I got a bit of a scare, because there was more spotting, a bit more than last week. Panicked a little, but it went away again.

Went shopping with my maid of honour on Saturday for her bridesmaid dress – spent about 5 hours walking around Robina Town Centre, and I was knackered after that! Then I had to rush home and get ready for my friends hens night in the city.

I’m having to do lots of lying! I drove into the city on Saturday night, because we said I hadn’t been feeling well all day (more lies!). Then one friend was asking me about when we were planning to have kids, so I gave her the spiel – trying for 18 mths, stopped trying now and just concentrating on the wedding etc – feels bad, and you just want to tell people! I drank two soda waters with lime in a short glass, and it looked just like vodka and soda. Someone asked me what I was drinking though, so I had to tell her it was just soda.

Then when leaving I dropped two friends back to their places, and driving through the Valley at nearly 11pm, just totally put me off having my hens there. There was just this seething mass of teenagers, all drunk and wearing skimpy clothes, I just decided it wasn’t my cup of tea anymore, I’m too old for that now! Plus the fact that I cant drink doesn’t help. So we might do a day shopping tour instead.

Its difficult at gym. I haven’t been going as much, mostly because I’m so tired in the mornings! I did a cycle class yesterday morning, and was feeling pretty good, trying to keep the intensity down a little. After one sprint track, I slowed to take a drink and felt REALLY lightheaded… oops, think I went a bit too hard! After that I tried to take it easier, but its so difficult when you’re used to giving it 100%. I’m going to avoid group fitness classes for a bit, my competitive nature takes over and I cant help flogging myself!

I’m still obsessed about my boobs, they are so much bigger now! They are firm and perky, like an 18 year olds! I cant stop looking at them, and going “wow, this is what its like to have big boobs!” LOL!

This morning I have indigestion. I don’t know if its tic tac’s fault or not.

I’ve gone off fruit again, and I really cant stomach salad at the moment.

Sunday 17th May 2009 – still 8 weeks pregnant

This has just been an awful week – one filled with worry. This week I have felt the crappiest yet, from headaches, indigestion, backache, nausea etc.

On Thursday, more spotting, and heavier. Not exactly blood, but close. I had this awful sinking feeling. I kept saying “oh no… no, no, no, please don’t…”

It only happened once, but I was still stressing.

Then all day Friday I kept having these stabbing pains in my lower abdomen. Short, sharp, stabbing pain. Then it would go away for a while, then it came back. So I was worried again.

This weekend seems to be ok, I feel a lot better, almost back to my old self. Only problem is that I keep waking up at 4am – needing to go to the bathroom! Its like WHAM – wide awake, uncomfortable bladder.

Feeling really dehydrated too – just cant seem to get enough water in – I’m lucky to get 2 litres down, and yesterday I only managed about 1.5. So when I wake at 4am, my tongue feels like a lump of cardboard in my mouth. Must drink more water!!

Also been dreaming a lot these last two nights.

I’ve had to organize my hens party this week, which hasn’t helped with the stress levels. Oh well.

Friday 22nd May 2009 – 9 weeks pregnant

This week I’ve been feeling good. Too good. Worried that maybe tic tac wasn’t hanging in there, and perhaps we might not get a heartbeat when we have the scan. Stupid thoughts I know. But when your boobs stop hurting, and you stop feeling nausea etc, it’s the thing that springs to my mind.

Maybe I’m just one of the lucky ones?

Nobody ever tells you that this journey is one that is filled with worry!

Been feeling better about food, but still have no interest in salad or veggies. I’m happy to eat veggies if they are mixed in with something, but just salad or steamed veg on its own? Ugh - no thanks.

Still not really eating much protein because it turns my stomach.

But I have been eating too much carbs. I know that for sure, and I really must stop. I feel a bit bloated all the time now, and I’m just hoping that my wedding dress will look ok! Only 3 weeks til we get married now…

Saturday 30th May 2009 – 10 weeks pregnant.

Today was the hens day, and it was a good day, but very tiring.

One of my pregnant friends was over last weekend for a coffee, and at one point I got up and she went “SHIT your boobs are big!!” I just laughed, really wanted to tell her, but bit my tongue. I fobbed it off, but probably not successfully. She might suspect, but then again, maybe not.

Yesterday I had my final dress fitting. When we got the dress, it was a full size too big. Even 5 or 6 weeks ago it was too big. But yesterday, it fit just right. It’s a size 12. Woah, I have really thickened up around the middle. I had to go up 2 sizes for the corset, mainly because of boobs, but also so I could wear it and still breathe! Pick the dress up on Tuesday afternoon.

Am still the same weight now as I was when we first found out. I know that I have lost muscle in these last weeks, what with my half-hearted efforts at the gym. I’m only making it to gym about 2 days a week at the moment. My chiropractor assures me that this is MUCH more than most pregnant women manage, and that I’m doing fine. Still feel guilty.

I think I might be back on salads again, I actually felt like salad on Friday night, for the first time in weeks. Protein is still a bit ick though.

Had my blood tests on Tuesday, and go for the scan in a week and a half. Cant wait to find out how the tic tac is going!

Tuesday 2nd June 2009 – 11 weeks pregnant

I’m staying home sick today. I prolly could have gone, but I really need to rest. I have a cold, and yesterday I couldn’t breathe at all through my nose. Had no sense of taste or smell. Sucked.

The problem is that there isn’t much that I can take – Olive Leaf Extract (which I normally swear by) is a no-no apparently, as is a lot of herbal remedies. Even most cough lollies are frowned on because of the menthol in them. All I can basically take is Lemsip, which has paracetamol. I’m going back to the chemist today to see what else I can take. Every time I blow my nose, my ears block up.

I’m hoping it will be cleared up for the wedding, which is 11 days away!

Only a week and one day til our first scan!

Saturday night turned into an interesting night, with OH coming home roaring drunk and then threw up half the night. It was hard work to keep my own dinner down!

I am officially back on salads again, I bought a delicious salad dressing that has really helped, and I’m only having iceberg lettuce rather than the dark green stuff, but it’s a vast improvement!

Tuesday 9th June 2009 – 12 weeks pregnant!

Yahoo!!! Made it to 12 weeks!!

Tomorrow is the scan, I’m so nervous and excited at the same time. Actually I think I’m more excited about THAT than our wedding on Saturday! Fingers and toes are crossed that everything is fine.

Wednesday 10th June 2009 - 12 week scan day!

Tic tac is healthy and fine, and we are so happy and relieved!! Cant wait to tell everyone at the wedding!

Here is a pic of the little bubba:


Frankie said...

OMG Hilary, reading that brings back memories of how worried I was with my first one. It can really be so stressful...(BTW it's still bloody stressful!)

he he..wait a few weeks until you feel like you've got a little alien trying to burst out of your tummy - that's where the real fun starts!

Jadey said...

Hils, that scan is beautiful. What a perfect picture of Tic tac. I hope everything goes so well for you and I know you will experience a new love and joy as you go through this journey! I am so happy for you - Jadey xxx

Hilds said...

Wow, I just loved reading your journey so far! Everything you have experienced is the same as what I went through (although obviously didn't get as far!). It makes me so excited about getting pregnant again. I wonder if you still worry as much the second time around!!!! Make sure you look after yourself and REALLY enjoy your pregnancy. It's such a special time of your life!

Amy said...

Congrats Hilary. I have only read your blog now and that is wonderful news. Very happy for you both.

Shar said...

Great reading Hils!! Loved it.
Thanks for sharing.

I'm totally with you on the worrying, 3rd time is no better, in fact I'm worrying more this time, I think the difference is finding out so early.

Great picture of Tic Tac, scan are amazing hey!

Keep posting and stay well
Shar x

linda said...

Lovely to read about your journey so far. and welcome to the 'world of worry' - otherwise known as 'motherhood.'!!

Alicia said...

What a great scan pic! I was reading your whole blog nodding my head. Its funny how we all seem to go thru the same things! The worry is doing my head in tho :( xox

Kristy said...

I loved reading your diary Hilary especially for someone who has yet to go through it.

How exciting and can't wait to keep hearing all about it

Nicole P said...

Congrats Hilary! That is awesome news -am so happy for you both :) Enjoy your boobs :) hehehe Nicole xx

Valley Girl said...

That was a beautiful read & I could feel all your emotions, that little tic tac is going to be sooooooooooo loved!

Just the best read Ive had in blogland for a long time, I am so excited to be following this exciting journey with you!

It is the best feeling Hils xoxoxo