Saturday, April 14, 2012

Some days its not easy

Sometimes its not easy to remember to make each day count.

Sometimes things get on top of you and you feel down… flat… low. You forget to make memories, and instead you plod, you mope. You get angry because the laundry isn’t getting done and the house is a bomb site, you yell at the toddler and get frustrated with the baby.

I’ve been struggling a little bit this last week. Mostly its to do with lack of sleep from Koby, he’s been a bit off, a little bit whiney, a little bit unsettled. The other night I put him to bed for the night at 7.30pm. Half an hour later he woke up, and that was it for two and a half hours… I ended up getting 15 more burps out of him… WTF?

Luckily there was no screaming, he just moaned & groaned and pulled his knees up to his chest constantly.

After an hour of burping him, I was getting frustrated. After 2 hours of burping him I was ready to cry. He finally went back to sleep at 10.30 and I crept into bed at 10.45… only to get up to him again at 11.15 *sigh*

Nights like that are rarities I must admit. But it’s draining. It’s frustrating. It makes you question every single thing you do.

When I’m tired, I get clumsy. In the last two weeks, I’ve taken two tumbles with Koby in my arms. The first time I slipped over in the kitchen, landed heavily on my knee and gave my abs a spectacular workout in holding onto bub. The second time was just a couple of days ago, I almost walked into a massive spider web, saw the spider a split second before I walked into him – jumped back and had one of those moments where the ground seemed to rise up to greet me. I literally bounced off the concrete, slamming my hand onto the ground, tore a nice little hole in my palm and grazed the skin. My hand actually vibrated for half an hour afterwards.

Luckily, both times Koby was absolutely fine, and had no idea anything even happened.

But despite feeling less than inspired this week, there have been some amazing moments too, without even going in search of them.

Things like when we went to the local playground and some bigger girls arrived, Skye introduced herself, plonked herself down in their group and made some new friends. Like how she now eats all her dinner, salad included, without being prompted – for a kid who for an entire year flatly refused to eat anything even resembling a veggie, that’s pretty amazing.

Things like Koby entertaining himself for 30 minutes on his own today… that’s big progress for my little “Klingon” baby. Or like how if he’s upset when someone else holds him, all I have to do is to pick him up and he instantly calms down – that’s so special and gives me the warm fuzzies!

So the upshot of all this is; even though its been a tough week, the little things, the special moments are there every day, as long as I remember to think about them.


Magda said...

Beautiful (the bubbies, not you hand)

xx m

Kristy said...

Lovely Hilary, I love your list of special things :)

The photo of your girls is beautiful :)

Francesca said...

Look at your hand, ouch!

We all have days like that, it's so hard sometimes, but the special bits help us along. And with cute kidlets like yours, I'm sure it's easy to start smiling again before too long!